Pumpkin Patch 2013

On goes the Roctoberfest!

All I wanted for my birthday was a trip to the pumpkin patch down the road from our humble abode. 

We squeezed it in just before dusk.

It lived up to my expectations... and theirs. 

A little bromance in the wheelbarrow

The triple threat. Layla's smile --- to die for. 

Happy Birthday to me. Couldn't have asked for anything more. 

2 YEARS AND 1 MONTH ------- AND 2 YEARS AND 1 MONTH LATER

The fall of 2011, babies were falling from the sky and into my life. 

I was chatting with a friend today when I realized that Rider is the ripe old age of 2 yrs 2 months. An entire month older than Layla was when we welcomed her first little brother into the family. Say whaaaaaa!? How on this green, round Earth did I do it? Not only did I have a newborn and a freshly turned 2 year old... I was 6 months pregnant and packing my entire life into boxes to move away from my favorite house on the planet.  Again, say whaaaa!?

Layla on our last "date" together before her brother bears came crashing into her life. 2 years old and no idea what was about to hit us. 

Man Rider is cute right now, he's also a complete handful. He's a peach compared to his little brother, but he's still a baby/toddler who is in the depths of a serious learning stage. I look back at the summer/fall of 2011 and I realize I must have been surrounded by angels. Angels both mortal and immortal carried me through the most exciting and trying time of my life. It's only now, two entire years later that I've had time to reflect on that season of my life. I look back with a little bit of sadness and nostalgia for that priceless autumn season of 2011.  If I remember correctly,  I only gave myself seven whole days to enjoy my freshly birthed new son, before I jumped into packing up my life and relocating in my parents basement. It wasn't by choice, our house sold the day before Rider was born. It was inspected the day we brought him home, and we had vacate three weeks later. I was carried by the saints around me and I don't think I even had a moment to thank them. The women who helped me pack (when I let them... because I'm such a control freak), the people who entertained my 2 year old so I could catch a nap with my newborn son (who would kick his brother on the other side of my pregnant belly), the angels that meticulously scrubbed my entire house and unloaded my fridge on the day of the move (I somehow forgot to pack an entire drawer of my house as well as the fridge - pregnancy brain I guess)... the list goes on.

If you look close enough, you'll spy a darling little lump of fresh baby in the swing... patiently waiting for his life to settle down.

Two years ago my world was rocked beyond measure. Huge, life altering MIRACLES were happening. Babies were literally falling from the sky and I had no place to put them. I was caring for a newborn who was displaying scary neurological seizures,  an unruly 2 year old, a 6 month pregnant belly, moving, preparing for another newborn, adjusting to living with my parents at age 30, new car, new jobs, being audited by the IRS for Layla's adoption tax return, and trying to adjust to life without my best friends living right across the street. And I don't think I had a meltdown even once!

I can sit here in my bed and tap away on this keyboard while honestly saying - there is only one way I survived that season of life... the Lord and His angels were round about me. And I'm here two years later to finally say THANK YOU. It's gratitude that should have been expressed much sooner than now, but here I am... feet on the ground again, finally recovered from the experiences and it's always better late than never to give thanks.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected the miracles that were placed in my life, nor would I have expected to need as much help surviving these past two years... but I am the most blessed woman in the world and I need to slow down and remind myself to allow more time to indulge in my gifts... before two years pass and I look back with regrets. 

Our happy little family of two children, it lasted a short 4 1/2 months

THE LOST YEAR

Once upon a time...

Last week,

I was laying in bed being sad that I was about to turn 33. 

It felt old.

Then after stretching my last few functioning brain cells to do the math,

I realized I thought I was 32 all year and I really wasn't.

I've been 31 all year. 

I lost a year. 

Well, at least I'm not 33 yet. 

So today is my birthday and I'm enjoying the simple moments.

Baths 

Naps

Lunch with my family

The smiles on my children's faces

Pumpkin patch's

etc....

So as a gift to me, watch this...

then try your best to focus on the simple moments and chose to make them worth while.

Also, I plan to take my body for a run tonight. 

To thank it for being the vessel of my spirit for 32 whole years.

Amazing strength it must have to house this unruly spirit of mine. 

WAIVER

Picture courtesy of CottonSoxPhotography
Layla signing her waiver to race

You know how you have to sign a waiver for practically every thing these days, because nobody wants to take responsibility for anything anymore? Ya, well, my kids should have signed a waiver before being thrust down from the pearly gates of heaven into my incapable arms. Especially since becoming a mother, I find myself in those "what was I thinking!?" situations all too often. I'm fairly certain at this point that my children will look back and wonder how they survived their mother. I already have a head full of insecurities as a mother and it's stories like this that cater to my self doubt. 

Rocktober brings on my favorite cycling season of all time, Cyclocross. We geared up and excitedly drove to Fort Buenaventura for Kday's first race of the season. It's a pretty breathtaking little park with a pond, tee-pees, swings, walking trails, and a park. A park with a REALLY tall slide. My lapse in judgement came when my thrill seeking little one year old son who defies any sense of safety awareness, asked to go on the big slide. My 4 year old daughter still won't go down a baby slide at the park mind you... So I obliged and helped his square stocky little body climb up the 13 metal stairs. He plopped his soggy diaper on the top level and prepared to let gravity create the thrill of a lifetime. I hurriedly ran down the stairs and to the bottom of the slide while reminding him to "wait for mommy to catch you!" Just as I approached the landing zone the world turned to slow motion... I watched as my little boy struggled to maneuver his feet to point down the slide. This created the weight shift necessary for one sweet little 20 month old to fall backward and tumble head first down the top two stairs. I screamed with all the gusto I had as I lunged and reached for my baby. The slow motion fall continued as he tumbled between the railing and he was in free-fall, it felt like forever as I watched his body nearing the hard ground below. I couldn't get there. Just a half a step separated us by the time he landed on his little bulbous belly. What in the world was I thinking leaving my little baby up there alone? I scooped him up and cradled his little screaming body and thanked the Lord that he didn't break his neck. Freak accidents happen. And this one should have been avoided by more thoughtfulness on my part. I inspected ever inch of his body, no blood, no swelling, neuro checks for concussion were normal. He cried for a few minutes and a few hours later he asked to go on the big slide again. Only this time, we opted for the swings instead. 

I. felt. aweful. I've laid in bed since and each night I can still see the picture re-playing in my mind. I know much worse has happened to children but I just felt so thoughtless as a mother. I try not to be over protective, and in certain instances I am and I just won't budge. Car seats for instance, but I also try to let my kids experience freedom, life and learning opportunities. So even though Layla was the one to sign the waiver to race her little bike around the grass course... Owen was the one who should have been asking for liability with is mother! 

We salvaged the day with a prayer of gratitude to the Lord for sparing any injuries to my Owee bear. Kday raced, Layla rocked the barriers at the Strider race, and the boys enjoyed being boys. 

Proud dad and Grandpa-Pockie cheering Layla on

She knows how to represent on the podium

What boy doesn't like a little recline action during a nap?

Post nap- Post fall and happy as long food and adventure are available.

This bear likes to take it easy and is often happier when left alone.

I dread the day these boys out grow the baby swing

She kinda loves her helmet. Which is funny because she's the most timid child of the three.
Maybe we'll start a helmet regimen for Owen at parks. 

THE BIG SLIDE - 

I know.... 

"What was I thinking?"

ROCKTOBER 2013

Kday's sister pointed out how perfectly this picture portrayed the kids in this family. Layla: posing and hamming it up as usual. Rider: always looking for a bird and in his own world. Owen: sockless and ready for the next big adventure, looking around for places to discover. And Kashi: perfect, timeless and so patient with his little babies. 

Can I just start out by saying... I'M BACK BABY.  It's been thrown out there before, and I've falsely reported my comeback numerous times. I was trying so darn hard to force myself to feel normal again and lets be honest, it's taken ten times longer than I had expected. This whole unplanned pregnancy, adoption, moving, life changing in every single aspect stuff rocked my world. I was driving down the road the other day and suddenly a switch flipped... all was "normal" in my world again. Finally. After 2.5 years. Wow that's a long time, but that's neither here nor there because.....

IT'S ROCKTOBER!!!!!

It's my birthday month, as well as my all time favorite month of the dozen that are offered each year. Life is just perfect in October, it always has been and it always will be. You can read about past Rocktobers here, here, here, here, and here.

Pumpkin patching, halloween crafts, autumn hikes at snowbasin, skeletons galore, woofums... just a few of the amazing luxuries of the months festivities. Plus weight loss, and work out regimines are in full swing and that will all be documented along side the normal traditions... like carving 100+ pumpkins. Oh, your family doesn't do that every single year? Weird.