THESE ARE A FEW POSTS AND PICTURES OF YEARS PAST
SELF COMPASSION- originally posted on sdayrunning 3/29/10
I sat down last night to write and submit "my story" to Ragnar Relay. (they asked people to write in to share why we're racing, ie: for a cure, to inspire, for fitness.) I sifted through pictures of my past and I remembered the pain. If you look closely you'll see it in my eyes. You'll see the forced smile that hides the guilt and disgust.
I used to HATE the girl in these pictures. I used to beat her up and tell her what a waste of human space she was. But now I embrace her for her strength and ability to try to smile through the internal pain. I owe my current state of health to that poor girl...
I am where I am today - because she made me strive to be better. The old Sday was hurting and she was just trying her best with the situation she was in at the time. It does no good to hate her anymore. I love her for not giving up. It's hard to avoid the cycle of negative self talk, but it's not worth the pain. Instead, self compassion is the route that will help me heal my past wounds and move foreword as I continue my search for the new Sday.
