FAVORITE.... GAME

"I see you!!!!" 

LAYING ALL OUT ON THE TABLE

Ok, I have already listed my 2010 goal related to weight loss. However, I have more goals in mind. I'm determined to make it a great year of physical fitness. D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.E.D

So, I must list the goals. You see, I function on deadlines and being held accountable by others. Yes, I'm sorry, I am one of those people. If a teacher suggested we read chapter 21 in the book to assist us with our worksheet... I didn't read it. If a teacher said, there will be a quiz on chapter 21 tomorrow in class at 8:00 am. I read the chapter at 7:55 am and aced the test. So I must be held accountable by you lovely people and I must have deadlines. Here we go:

Wasatch Back Relay Race June 18-19 : Goal to weigh in at 140 lbs on or before race day

Spudman Team Triathlon July 31: Beat my minute/mile swim time by at least 2 minutes

Ogden Valley Triathlon September 13: I will wear a racerback tank top and feel comfortable                                                                                                  with my arms and shoulders being visible to the public eye. (sounds dumb, but I've always been embarrassed by my arms.. even in my college tennis days)

Green Valley Tennis Turkey Bowl November 26-28: Wear an nike tennis dress (always the cutest desings... but very form fitting.) And make it to at least the 2nd round of the tournament.

I really hope that's not too ambitious. I will post proof of each goal whether I accomplish it, or fail miserably. Dang it's gonna be a GOOD YEAR! 

DADDY DAUGHTER DATE

We finally broke down an purchased the accessory baby harness for Layla's  "Chariot". Kday was kind enough to donate his birthday and Christmas gift certificates to REI to pay for this little number. But I have a feeling it absolutely get its worth in use. Kday is already planning daily bike rides with Lady. Kevin took advantage of the good weather on Saturday and took Lady sight seeing around the west side of K-town. She loved being able to sit up and see out the windows now. They went for a nice long ride, she was bundled and cozy in her little apartment on wheels :) Kday obviously looks foreword to a lifetime of daddy daughter dates. 

Oh and I had to include a picture of that "oh so kissable" neck! It's the yummiest little treat and very ticklish! 

SPRING IS IN THE AIR

The sun was shining today. We went for a hike.

I carried Lady in her Joey wrap and she chit-chatted the whole way up the hill. 

( is it me just trying to stretch the truth... or does it kinda look like we have the same eyes in this picture?)

It was cold and muddy, but that just meant I could look foreword to doing Lady laundry when we returned home. 

Kashi really wanted to eat Lady's hat...

Lady really wanted to eat the sticks....

Neither one ate anything. But we had a great time getting fresh air and pumping some oxygen into my sore muscles. 

I think we'll make this a weekly event.

P.S. GOAL UPDATE: 7 lbs down, 25 to go with 115 days to go. That's less than 2 lbs per week.... totally do-able!  

FEEDING THE "FLOC"

( Side note) I'm writing this while I sit in Layla's nursery rocking chair and listen to her try to fall asleep in her crib without her beloved and oh so loved "swaddle" or binki.

Anyway, as I was scrubbing the door to my oven this afternoon I got to thinking... that's the problem with cleaning. I think too much when I'm elbow deep in scrubbing bubbles. However, I came across a realization that everyone tolerates different levels of cleanliness and that is OK. For example, I get comments on my blog all the time from fellow mothers telling me that they just live amongst the mess and keep going without focusing on it. Mothers who say they despise cleaning and don't have the patience to keep their house really clean. Another example, I have two dear sister-in-laws who keep the most spotless homes I've ever been inside, even down to the tiniest detail. Whatever the level of cleanliness, it's a personal moment between feeling functional and feeling like you're going to lose your mind if you see one more spec of dust.

I'm calling it your "FUNCTIONAL LEVEL OF CLEANLINESS." My FLOC is different than your FLOC, and we must tend to our own floc, not someone else's. I am able to function well with a disorganized closet and dirty mud room, but I can not even begin the day unless the bed is made and the kitchen is clean. I can tolerate lots of "organized piles" on the kitchen table and a somewhat clean bathroom, but I can't tolerate dust bunnies on my hard wood floors. I have a really hard time dancing around her nursery together when all I can notice is the dust beneath my feet. So as long as the floors are vacuumed, then I can enjoy all the dancing we can squeeze into a day. And someday when I have carpet, I won't have to vacuum as much! Other people must have a perfectly bleached bathroom 24-7 but could care less about making the bed... get my point?

As much we would all love for our houses to look like the inside of a P0ttery Barn catalog, I encourage you to find the level of cleanliness that you tolerate well. The level at which you feel comfortable accomplishing the day to day tasks without feeling like your being swallowed in clutter and dirt. And there is no judgment on your FLOC! That's the beauty of it!

So remember this, the next time someone comes over to your house and you jump onto the apology wagon for your house not being as clean as theirs... stop and remember that your house only has to be as clean as you need it to be in order to function without focusing on the mess. Then invite your guest in, make her a yummy snack and enjoy the conversation and company without feeling guilty or embarrassed :)

(P.S. Layla fell asleep about half way through writing this post! Holy miracle)
*** update: 2 hours later she woke up screaming and wouldn't go back to sleep until I swaddled and binki'd her. We'll try again tomorrow...

NEW ADVENTURE... "SHARING HOPE"

I am very open about my past struggles with depression. I have always felt the desire to share my story in hopes that it will help others gain insight and understanding of those of us who have been affected by it. I am well aware of the social stigma that depression and anti-depressants carry in this state. I am open because I want to help others that fall victim to the stigma as well as stand up to the people who haven't yet been educated.

I faced chronic depression for over 13 years, and then I became what I call a "self advocate and active participant" in finding a way to fight my depression and gain control of my LIFE. I started attending psychopharmacology conferences, women's groups, seeing a counselor and life coach, and researching medications and behavioral changes. I learned what I needed to do to LIVE again.

Anyway, long story short.... I'm finding a new way to help others. I'm joining my inspirational friend and past therapist, to start a HOPE GROUP. I want to share with other women the HOPE that I have found in the last 4 years of my life. I will be co-teaching, sharing, and hosting an 8 week women's group. I am SO EXCITED! We'll be discussing topics such as nutrition, medications, exercise, counseling, and more... in an intimate and caring setting.

More info to follow. If you or anyone you know could use some HOPE in their life and would like to be a part of our group.... please email me.

YEAR OF THE TIGER!

We celebrated Chinese New Year last night! We had a blast among the crazy decorations, yummy food, games and fire crackers! We also exchanged Valentine's and spread a lot of L.O.V.E!

We ate pot stickers and ham-fried rice, Chinese chicken salad, edemame, and fortune cookies.

The decorations were crazy and fun and Layla loved them

After dinner we read our Chinese Fortune Sticks.

(last year mine said we'd get a baby!)

We played "Chinese Bingo" *not really anything to do with the holiday... but the kids love it and we give away fun little Chinese toys to the winners.

All the Grand-daughters wore their traditional dresses


We handed out Valentine Gifts after reading about everyone's Chinese Horoscope.
Layla's an Ox, Kevin's a Sheep, and Shannon's a Rooster

And last but not least... we set off some fire-crackers to ward off the evil spirits!
WE HAD SO MUCH FUN AND CAN'T WAIT TO MAKE THE TRADITION BIGGER AND BETTER EVER YEAR!
Happy New Year!

V-DAY EXPERIENCE Part 2

I'm going to be brutally honest and admit that hiking up hill for 3.5 hours with my legs strapped to skis was really hard. Hard physically and emotionally for a few reasons.

A: I'm carrying about 20 more fat lbs than I'd like + the weight of my pack.

B: I'm a little bit out of shape in the cardiovascular department (especially in comparison to Kday and the other fit men, and the two women who are long distance endurance runners)

C: The ligaments in my right foot arch felt as though they were fraying from being stretched beyond the limits in a ski boot with zero padding or arch support.

(NOT TRYING TO MAKE EXCUSES HERE... PROMISE)

HOWEVER, WHAT I GAINED FROM THE VDAY EXPERIENCE:

It's been 2 years since I've found myself in the position of "fat girl in the back of the pack that's holding everyone up." As bad as it sucked to be that girl again.... it was a good reminder of how much I don't want to be her.

I decided to be proud of myself for at least being willing to try something so hard and coming to the conclusion that it might be worth trying again.

I have an AMAZING husband that stayed by my side and encouraged me every painful step of the way.

Kday's passion is somewhat masochistic in the way he loves to climb uphill via bike, ski, or whatever.... my passion is to ride to the top of the mountain in a gondola and then ski the 3 ft of powder.

My truest passion is really to spend long hours on a boiling hot tennis court in the frying heat of the sun, while running drills until I want to puke. Now that's fun!

So, to each his own. I enjoyed the company, the nature and the health that I do have. But we all don't have to love the same thing. Instead, we sacrifice for the ones we love, we share experiences. And sometimes we have to go up hill, as long as Kday is by my side... I'll go and try to enjoy.

V-DAY EXPERIENCE Part 1

Kday and I decided against a Valentine gift exchange this year, instead we chose to share an "experience" together. We most likely wouldn't have remembered what we gifted to each other within a matter of a few months anyways, and we really wanted to do something memorable.

So we joined 2 other couples for a weekend of All Terrain skiing and an overnight stay at theSteam Mill Yurt, located in Logan Canyon. We spent 3.5 hours skinning up the canyon and reached our destination seconds before nightfall was upon us. (The group actually only spent about 2.5 hrs - but I was struggling and was much slower)

(Anna - Me - Jamie * the 3 hotties of the trip!)

The Yurt was great, the food was D-lish, and the company was the best part. We had a blast talking into the late hours of the night and roasting our buns off next to the wood burning stove. We'll definitely have a few good "inside jokes" to carry around in our back pockets for awhile.

(Lane and I were super stoked to make it to the Party Yurt)

The next day was some more hiking and skiing the fresh powder. (I took it easy for fear that if I hiked/skied too late into the day that I wouldn't make the hike out of the canyon) We took all safety precautions with beacons, probes, and radios and stayed away from the few small natural avalanche slides we came across.

(The Crew - skinning up the canyon)

We had a great time and I'll carry the memory much longer than I would have carried a cheesy box of chocolates and a wilted flower. Thanks Kday for the V-day "experience"

(Mr. and Mrs. Kday.... in love)

HAPPY VALENTINES!

Lady received her first Valentine today. She loved it. It was perfect, I cried. Need I say more. Thanks Aussie!

STAY FOCUSED

(2000 Region Finals: match point... won in a 3 set tie break)

Today I "officially" return to the world of tennis. Since a 6 year hiatus after playing college tennis and a 2 year battle with the USTA to fix my current ranking... I'm back. My first match is today at 1:00 p.m.. It's REALLY nothing fancy, it's just local league matches that I'll be playing for now. I'm much more comfortable on the court as a singles player, but today they had to match me up for doubles. So my level of fear just jumped up 100 notches. If I'm on the court alone and make a mistake that costs me the match, there's no one to blame but myself and no one as disappointed as me. But in doubles, I have to live up to someone else's standard and hope that I don't cost them the match.

But I've always been a bit of a mental case on the court. I can rock the workouts and drills, but I'm a total head case once it's game time. This has sort of been the story for everything in my life. But I'm committing to make the change. Now more than ever, I'm staying focused and determined to reach my goals. My eye is on the target and I will not take it off. Whether it's my goal weight, my tennis goals to work my way back into a top ranked 4.5 intermountain player, or to start my new Hope Group (info coming soon), I'm doing it this time. NO EXCUSES.

THOUGHT VOMIT

(i wish my thoughts were as easy to organize as Layla's cute baby dishes)

Sheesh! If you've ever met me in person you know that I have a lot of thoughts. A LOT. So many, in fact, that I struggle to contain them, filter them, and organize them. Today I have an exponential amount of thoughts floating around in my head. Maybe it's because I donated blood today and now there's not enough blood flow in my silly brain..... maybe I'm just a little bit weird.

Whatever the reason, I don't care. I'm in dire need of a place to spew my thoughts until a later time, when I can come back and organize them. OOOOH, I do love to organize....

Why is it that I just mopped the floor and my new fresh white socks are brown on the bottom?

I hope Layla takes a long nap this afternoon so I can study for my new adventure

I haven't told my bloggers about my new adventure... I'll have to get to that later this week

Wonder how soon Layla will be crawling?

To "baby proof" or not to "baby proof" (of coarse against the dangerous things... but do I turn my house into a padded room with nothing in it until she's 10?)

I really need to study tonight

I also want to read all the other books that I got for Christmas and that I ordered online

Shoot, it's almost time to register for the Co-op.

Be back in a minute....

Here I am.

I need to make a prioritized list of things I want to do, need to do, and can't wait to do.

How often am I going to need to mop once Layla starts crawling?

When is she supposed to start eating baby food with meat in it?

I have so many craft projects that I really want to get done including:

That new hat pattern I bought last week

Make Layla a skirt to go with her darling little cardigan I found for Easter

Make Layla a spring church dress

Sew the bedskirt for her crib

Paint the mural in her room

Which reminds me of the mural I want to paint in the dining room too.

I hope my tennis match goes well this week

Oh ya, I need to blog about that too.......

Well, that's a fraction of the thought vomit. Now at least I can settle in and enjoy the day with Layla. Later tonight after FHE I will get back to organizing that ridiculous list of thoughts.

THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER TODAY

I got home from the hospital today around 11:15 am and while pulling into the driveway, I noticed the beautiful day it is outside. I chose to forego my usual Monday KIT routine and just enjoy today. There will never be another February 8 2010... ever... ever... EVER. Today instead of vacuuming and dusting and folding laundry and cooking dinner, I am choosing to dance around the room with Layla, read books with her while laying on the floor in her room, walk to the library, play fetch with Kashi, and just let the lists of things to do fade into the sunlight that surrounds us. It's really not easy for me to turn the "to-do" list face down on the fridge and put the list of KIT daily do's away, I have to coach myself through it. I'm tempted each second to pick up the socks on the floor while I play, but I won't. Instead I'll hug Lady extra tight and pick out another book to read. She'll be crawling soon and I'll have plenty of time to pick up the trail of messes that she leaves behind. For now, we'll just sit, lay, roll, and snuggle on the floor together and enjoy today for what it's worth. The BEST February 8, 2010 EVER.

4.5 + 1 GREAT CONVERSATION

My dear friend who looks OH SO FABULOUS for producing twins less than 8 months ago, inspired me to go for another long Saturday run. We had great conversations which made the suffering a little more bearable. It was a little chilly but not freezing. I think we both enjoyed our time on the back streets of town very much.
Here's our stats:
Distance: 4.55 miles
Time: 51.44
Speed: 11:21 min/mile ** (I think we actually averaged an sub 11 min/mile except we walked the last block to "cool down.")

p.s
Lady is 7 months old! And I can't get enough of her yummieness!
She is sitting up and playing with her toys on the floor like a champ and eating like crazy! We can't get enough giggle time between the two of us.

ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE

It's been almost three weeks since we were so very privileged to take Lady to the Temple. The entire day was perfection... minus a few mishaps based on my forgetting the adoption decree, thus postponing everything 30 minutes. Paperwork mishaps or not, it was one of the two most spiritual days of my life. Because of the absolute sacredness of the day, not much will be said here. Few words could candidly describe the heavenliness of being together as a family in the Temple. Deepest thanks to Jamie for capturing the sentiment of special day.

RANDOMNESS

We went to the Outdoor Retailer Show last week to support Kday's cycling sponsor: KUHL

P.S: I love the Joey Wrap! Hands free while Lady napped and shopped!

Lady scored a sweet backpack to carry her stuff in at dad's bike races this summer.

There may be a possibility of the RUG returning... I'm sick of carrying around the bunny soft. It's like carrying a second baby. So we'll re-audition the RUG but Lady has the ultimate decision.

I must have been busy yesterday... I opened the cupboard to make Lady's afternoon bottle and found my phone tucked away with the drinking glasses.

Good thing the president didn't call.

Tomorrow:

A long awaited post about a VERY special day.

5 MILES... AND ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS

5 MILES

Here's the proof.

p.s. kday happened to drive by on his way home from skiing and he decided to snap a shot... we really didn't "set this up"

Saturday I felt like taking a long run. I haven't felt like that is a LONG time. So I dropped everything, packed Lady up and did it. My legs strongly disagreed with my hearts desire to run. It was llloooong and slooow. But I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment when all was said and done. I was surprised the next day at how fatigued my upper body was - from pushing the Chariot.

Distance: 5.02 miles

Time: 59:29 sec

Speed: 11: 54 min/mile (I promise I run faster without baby in tow!)

WHAT IS A CO-OP?

"It is a group of people who work together for mutual benefit."

It's a way of avoiding the grocery store prices for local - delicious produce and other healthy food. It's a "cooperative society" to be exact :) I pay $15.00 on Tuesday to reserve a basket (the exact process can be explained in an email if you're actually interested) and on Saturday I go pick up a laundry basket full of fresh produce from local stateside farmers. It is volunteer based and everyone is asked to volunteer when possible to keep it "fee - free." We never know what we're going to get in the baskets but it's like Christmas! Thanks to this little darling (again) for introducing me to such a healthy option! For more info-- go HERE

2 WEEK MENU PLAN

(based on contents of the Co-op this week)

Monday: Sloppy Joe with Salad (lettuce, pears)

Tuesday: Fajita (red peppers, tomato)

Wednesday: Taco's with salad (tomato, lettuce, pears)

Thursday: Wedding reception

Friday: Left Overs with fruit smoothie for dessert (banana, apple)

Saturday: Lunch - Quinoa salad, Dinner: Steak and grilled Zucchini (zucchini, tomato, asparagus, carrot, cucumber)

Monday: Salsa Chicken over rice with side of asparagus (tomato, red pepper, asparagus)

Tuesday: Left overs with Fruit Salad (grapefruit, banana, apple, pear)

Wednesday: Sweet BBQ meatballs over rice with grilled Zucchini (zucchini)

Thursday: Left Over

Friday-Sunday: Camping in a Yert

All the other fruits and carrots we've just been snacking on and LOVING it! Hope you enjoy!