SECRET SUPPER

Secret Supper is the traditional way of celebrating a New Year around the Day home. Every member of the family picks an item of food they'd like for dinner - or dessert and we secretly confide in Rita (Kday's moms alias name). She is the one and only to know what everyone ordered... and come new years eve, we sit and eat. And eat and eat. Between meals we mingle, play games, party, and try to guess what everyone picked for dinner. It's crazy fun... and kind of just crazy. That's why I love it.

TOPLESS

I've spent my limited pass time this week crying over spilled milk. I'm well aware of the uselessness of my actions, however I just can't stop. Truly spilled milk it is... all over my laptop. I'm certain it was only a matter of time that this occurrence took place - given we've gone through approximately 3,000 bottles so far this year. But I just can't face the music and come to grips with the financial affects of my toddlers mistake. We won't be replacing my dear laptop anytime soon, given we still need to buy a car and pay off Christmas expenses... so I'm using my old busted up laptop. Bless it's heart. It really is making an effort to meet my needs in hopes of making a comeback. But honest to Murgetroid! Who has 5 minutes every time I change webpages for the browser to load, and it doesn't contain any of my current photos or files, and lets not forget that it's taped together in order to function and if the tape loosens in the slightest- BAM the whole sucker shuts down on ya. At least fifty times I day I habitually run to the computer to review my budget or check my address-book or download a picture - only to realized the tragedy of my situation. Laptopless. Woe is me :)
Really NOT a tragedy given this past weeks national events... but still. Laptopless.

MILESTONES - OF SORTS

FLASHBACK TO CHRISTMAS 2 YEARS AGO.... WOW - TIME FLIES.
And I'm soo wishing I was as skinny as I was back then.

So the last biggie milestone that I wrote about was the whopping graduation from the 3- under 3 category! And let me tell you, that's a huuuuge milestone. Since the Buca turned three she's like twice as easy to manage, potty trained, and triple the helper girl around the house.

The latest milestone we recently passed was BOTH BOYS are finally in the SAME SIZE DIAPER! What?! That's not an exciting milestone for you? Well, just imagine no more having to do inventory of "which diaper size to get a costco." Or "Hey Kday, make sure and grab 2 Owen diapers and 4 Rider diapers for the church bags!" No more explaining to babysitters that Riders diapers on always on the right. Rider=Right. It's such a breeze to just grab a diaper! Any diaper and throw it on one of the boys!!! Thrilling - for me.

Bed time... finally! Isn't bed time every mother's favorite time of day. It's taken almost a year to finally streamline our bedtime routine and now both boys finally go to bed together at 7:30pm and Layla is a short 30 min later. Everyone now sleeps through the night and all the way till about 7:15 am. The boys wake up and giggle at each other as they stand across the crib from one another and act like little monkeys jumping on the bed. Heaven knows I would have liked everyone to be on such a routine much, much sooner - but that Ohwee is just a buggar when it comes to sleep. Rider and Layla are champion sleepers though.

Meal time is simplifying itself these days also! No more making 3 separate breakfasts... three lunches and 3 dinners! No more "toddler food, puree'd table food, and baby food" for meal time. I can almost get away with feeding everyone the same food with just a few variations in how it's served. So huge huge huge!

Clothing - the 4 month difference in age is not as noticeable in the boys size now. The can ALMOST fit in the same size clothing with it running a a little big on Owen. That will be so huge when they really can just share the same wardrobe. When I was pregnant we all thought, "Oh it will be so easy to just hand me down Rider's clothes to owen." It hasn't really worked out that way, Rider was huge at first and Owen tiny and the seasons were off... it just didn't work. Two whole wardrobes had to be purchased every few months. Now, Rider has thinned out and Owen is a chunk - so with the exception of shoes... (rider's hands and feet are ginormous) we are just around the corner from sharing clothes.

And last but NOT LEAST - we are just around the corner of being OFF BOTTLES AND FORMULA completely! Talk about getting a raise and making for a ton of room in the kitchen! We'll be on sippy cups and milk and THAT folks feels like a whole new life!

WRITERS BLOCK

What is wrong with me? I promise to write and I don't. I think up fantastic posts while in the shower and by the time I've dried off and back into the depths of motherhood I forget my ponderings. When the kids finally settle at night I commit to finishing the Christmas tree and writing a blog post... neither has been accomplished yet. When the kids aren't screaming, pooping, fighting, singing, destructing, and eating, I often think of whitty and whimsical posts. But like the rest of my life - I only have time to "think" about what I want to do and not much time to "do" what I want to do.
Sorry about the writers block. It's driving me as nutzo as you I'm sure.

IN MY DEFENSE....

I'm sorry I've been missing in action these past weeks... months really. Changes are happening with my psyche as well as my physical state of being. I knew the time would come when I started feeling a little normal again and I knew it wouldn't come if anyone - including myself - tried to force it. It's taken about 10 months longer than I had anticipated, which feels like an eternity. Slowly but surely the feeling of normalcy is returning to my spirits. It's a long story though and one I'd really like to share... so bear with my lapse in posts and I will share with you the inner depths of my recent findings. Cross my heart.... but not hope to die or stick a needle in my eye :)

OLD MACDONALD.....

Oh ya, remember that totally awesome holiday we celebrated a few weeks ago. I guess I forgot to let you in on the full monty of costumes. Here it is... finally...
Drum roll****************************

Kday and I were the farmers

Layla was our chicken

Owen was our sheep and Rider was a cow.... a mad cow

 And here are some of the pumpkins we carved... out of the 100 total that were completed for the pumpkin show at Kday's parents house. An annual tradition

Better late than never right?

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA

I thought I could avoid it. I've survived for a solid 10 months without it. I don't need it for day to day places like walks to the park or even long outings at the zoo. My belief is that a 3 year old is plenty old enough to hike, walk, or bike a few miles without the need to be pushed around in a stroller. So when people told me I should get a triple stroller I laughed because I knew my Buca, and she is a walking machine. In fact, she'll walk for hours and hours if we take the boys for a stroll, or better yet, now she rides her bike while I walk with the boys in their favorite double stroller.
There's a missing component though, a huge part of my life - pre-baby boys...
My all natural depression and weight management...
My passion...
The only thing I can do to clear my head and feel great about myself...

RUNNING.
I haven't been able to run since the arrival of Owen. Yes I could drag my already sleep deprived self out of bed at 5am to run if I really really wanted to. But that's not my modus operandi. I LOVE NOTHING MORE than throwing my kids in a jogger with their messy hair, jammies, blanket, a few crackers and sippy cups and off we go for an adventure. To be able to run WITH my kids and not IN SPITE of them  would be a really great feeling.

So I'm doing it. I'm getting a TRIPLE JOGGER. Yes they're massive. Huge really. Heavy. Bulky. Totally not ideal. But to me I can taste FREEDOM just with the idea of it! I need to run. I need to get my weight down. And most of all, I need to feel like myself again.

The problem: there's only about 3 triple jogger options on the market.
A) the uber expensive one that is super duper bulky, heavy but has all the bells and whistles and great reviews.

B) the less bulky but high quality triple that seems to be off the market now and almost impossible to buy but I really love it because it is the perfect mix of function and size.

C) the moderately pricey one that I'm drawn to, but it has VERY mixed reviews. Some great - some terrible

 

D) the totally affordable one that has terrible reviews and is bound to fall apart most likely the first time I use it.

SO WHAT DO I DO? SHOULD I TAKE A CHANCE ON THE MID-RANGE JOGGER THAT GETS THE JOB DONE BUT HAS MIXED REVIEWS AND HOPE THAT MY REVIEW COMES OUT **** FOUR STARS?

HELP PLEASE!!!!

OUT....

Today I must shop. 

Here's what we're out of:

Toilet paper - been using wet wipes...
Wet wipes - used too many in place of TP.
Milk - kind of necessity
Formula - I have enough for 1 more bottle. Let's hope WWIII doesn't happen before I get to the store.
Bread - Layla's breakfast of choice, not a happy camper this morning

That's basically the total necessities, and the only reason I'm not out of diapers is because I stocked up on size 5 right before Layla potty trained (I didn't think that one through) so if we ran our of size 3-4 for the boys, I'd have back up.

We're also going for a walk today and babysitting Layla's only cousins on the Silver side. They're awesome kids and make my life so much easier when they entertain my kids. We'll then be hitting up the bank and planning FHE while pulling dinner out of the freezer and throwing it in the oven.  And I'll keep stewing over a big "baby equipment" decision I'm trying to make. I'll fill you in on that money guzzler tomorrow, if I survive this Manic Monday.

Now high five me and tell me what your Manic Monday has in store for you.

LIKE A RECORD BABY....

SPINNING.

MY LIFE IS SPINNING LIKE A RECORD.

ROCKTOBER ALWAYS ENDS WITH A BANG AND I'LL BE POSTING ABOUT OUR HALLOWEEN EXTRAVAGANZA WHEN THE SPINNING STOPS. 

OR AT LEAST WHEN IT SLOWS DOWN TO A MANAGEABLE LEVEL.

One of the most important techniques I encouraged with my HOPE GROUP was to RECOGNIZE when the spinning gets too out of control.  And then MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES in your daily routine to settle the spin down.

For me - this week, that means stay home and get back on top of my Domestic Goddessing duties. And also focus on this month's theme, gratitude for my life... even the spinning parts.

EPIC FAIL

The day started bad, then got worse, then peaked with a few tantrums and then rounded out with an actually pretty awesome evening.
7:40 am - I slept in. Not in a good way though, it's a school day and now I'm 40 min behind getting all kids fed, dressed and in the car by 9:15.

7:50 - Layla FREAKS out because Kday zipped up her cowgirl boots and SHE wanted to.

7:51 - Layla heads to her room for a little "Uh-Oh" time (Love and Logic technique) The next 25 minutes are filled by trying to get the boys fed and cared for, all the while listening to the ranting and raving of their sister in her room.

8:30 - Layla comes to her senses and decides she'd like to "be sweet" and be around us for what's left of breakfast time.

8:40 - Layla FREAKS out again because she was asked to complete her daily chore of making her bed. Normally she does this with a sing song voice and no problems. Not today. Back to her room for a little more "Uh-Oh" time.

9:00 - we're all functioning and ready to throw the extra car seat in the car so we can pick up a little boy on our way to Layla's school.

9:01 - I realized the car seat isn't here.

9:02 - Realize said car seat is in my mom's trunk a few miles away. We can make it on time if we hurry.

9:17 - Kids finally loaded and we're 10 min behind schedule now.

9:27 - Car seat finally installed and heading to pick up darling little James.
(Layla's supposed to be at school in 3 minutes - mind you)

9:33 - James is in the car after a bit of a long story fiasco and we're headed up HWY 89 to school.

9:34 - Car runs out of gas. SUPER.

9:45 - My darling Dad rescues me with a gas can.

9:50 - Layla's dropped off and we're headed back down the street to fill-r-up at Smith's Gas Station.

9:55 - After waiting to pre-pay cash at the pump (we use the Dave Ramsey Cash System) I realize the attendant has left a "BE BACK IN 5" sign. 7 minutes later I storm outta the place cursing the store and the attendant and tell them I'm taking my business elsewhere.

9:57 - I enter Maverick to pre-pay and I SLIP ON THE FLOOR AND ALMOST BREAK MY NECK except for the AWKWARDLY NICE MAN WHO HAPPENS TO CATCH ME. How monumentally embarassing. I quickly pay for my gas, repeatedly assure all the on lookers that I'm perfectly fine - just humiliated and I get back in my car and come home as fast as possible before something else goes catastrophically wrong.

The rest of the day was pretty much history - a few more melt down's by Layla. (typical three year old kind of stuff and thanks to Love and Logic I'm a MUCH MORE patient mom) A few snuggles on the couch with the boys, a long nap for Layla and then we headed to my dear MIL's house for some crafting and great hospitality. And a certain three year old was so awesome after her nap. She was using manners, talking sweet, and even sharing her cookie with her brothers! Double awesome.

So the day ended well but boy was it a rough go until about 10 am. Yikes.
Cheers to a less "eventful" day tomorrow.

OH MAC!

I'm prepping three little Halloween costumes today. Here's a few hints. Can you guess what the kids will be this year?

Rider

Layla

Owen

Have a good MANIC MONDAY

ROCKTOBERFEST = BIRTHDAYFEST

I'm a little selfish and I love celebrating my own birthday. I know, annoying right? I just love any reason to celebrate life and friends and food. So a birthday seems like a pretty ideal time to fit all three into one big chocolate piece of cake.
My birthday has been a fantastic one. Again. Last year was hard to top. I was welcomed into my 31st year with dinner and crazy cake with friends, a fancy feast that Rita made, thoughtful gifts galore, facebo0k shout outs, family fun, a day of shopping, and a surprise pizza dinner. Could a girl ask for more? Nope.

This year even included a hand picked gift from my Buca - and I loved it. And My Mr spoiled me as usual.

As for the rest of the month - our plans include:

Free J&J pumpkin patch and hay ride

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Halloween costume preparations

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The kids party at Station Park

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Trick 'or treating at Great Grandma Marge's 

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Planning out our pumpkin carving ideas - to top last year

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More trick or treating and halloween parties than a girl could imagine. 

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Is there anything we're missing? Leave a comment and let me know if there's some fantastic Halloween tradition or party you'd love to share! 

OLD LADY BONES

Oh, I'm so sorry I haven't written. 

I've been busy turning a year older. 

It's quite a bit of work. 

Tomorrow I shall tell you all about it. 

For now... happy 15 days till Halloween!

TRICKER TREATS

I thought I'd share with your a few of the tricks I've found to keeping life a little less scattered and a little more organized with my "situation." Nothing fancy you know, just small swaps that help a sister out when trying to make dinner and clean and entertain children during the "witching hours" of the evening. Usually after PM naps and before dinner is on the table. And by dinner, I mean spaghetti-O's or something else super lame :)

This is my cupboard under the island countertop - near the kitchen table. It's full of "activities" such as play-doh, crayons, stickers, markers, paints and all the paper you can imagine. I usually try to have Layla and Rider doing something at the table before dinner because most likely I FINALLY got the house clean while they napped and I don't want them leaving a new path of destruction.

Have a laundry basket in the kitchen. We live in a split - multi level home and the laundry room is in the basement. The kids dirty clothes baskets are upstairs in their rooms. So where do I put all the millions of bibs, burp clothes and wash rags we go through each day? I chuck them in the laundry basket to be later emptied in the basement at the end of the day. Viola. No more trips up and down the stairs every 15 seconds. Lazy. I know.

Same reason I don't want to go up and down the stairs 579 times a day to change Rider's diaper... seriously! The kid poops at least 8 times a day. And that's just during his waking hours. So I have a diaper and a toy station on each level of the house. Again, lazy. I also rotate toys from the play room, to their room to the family room. Keeps em guessing.

Binki's. Oh the binki's we go through. Owen likes to chuck everything. It's a family trait. Super. And Rider likes to steal every binki I give to Owen. So, despite having two drawers filled with binki's around the house, plus a few spare in the car... we lose track of them too quickly. And when I have my hands full with two boys and they're screaming - I can just say "Hey Layla, go grab a binki out of the drawer." She knows right where to go. Next to the fridge or in the boys dresser. 

Wear protection. Not that I have some fantastically expensive designer table... but just because I don't want it to look totally trashed before it needs to. Each of the kids have their own place mat and it also makes for quick clean up.

And this chair is fantastic. It catches almost all the millions of little crumbies that fall out of one's hand as he likes to crinkle up his food and apply direct pressure to each cracker before placing into his mouth. Rider. And when all else fails and I've already vacuumed and mopped the floors for the day... I call in the dog to re-clean them. He's fantastic at it.

LEAVE A COMMENT AND SHARE YOUR TRICKS OR TREATS WITH ME!

HALLOWEEN IN THE HIZHOUSE

It all started with a single orange wicker basket shaped like a pumpkin. I received it for my 20th birthday from my sister-in-law Sidney. My first Halloween decoration for my first house. If you could call it a house. It was eleven years ago, our basement apartment, with carpet that simulated something like a thin sheet of fabric laid over cement. The kitchen had a drain in the center of the floor that the linoleum sloped down into. The bathtub, a baby blue - the toilet also. Awesome. We've long since upgraded to much better living quarters... and each year, another decoration item is added to the pile. I love decorating the house for Halloween. I love it more than Christmas decor. 

never mind the fact that if you look close enough in the mirror... it looks like the witch is riding on top of Kday's head. 

Wait, what does spaghetti O-s with meatballs have to do with Halloween?
Nothing, but I served it to the kids for dinner the other night (don't judge) and it reminded me that I totally craved it as a weird pregnancy craving last year. Gross right? I know, but I was just reminiscing this time of my pregnancy during autumn last year.
Now stop being grossed out by my weirdness and go buy yourself a Halloween decoration already!

ROCKTOBERFEST...

I planned to write yesterday.

But then we did this instead.

We checked out the baby giraffe at the zoo.

With this awesome family.

I planned to write today.

But then I realized my taxes are due in a few days.

I thought I could just file another extension...

Nope.

And filing taxes with a small business.

And two children who remain birth-certificate-less and SSN-less... 

Well, it's a pain.

Here's what's coming down the pipe:

TRICKER TREATS 

HALLOWEEN IN THE HIZHOUSE

SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET

AND PUMPKIN FEST 2012

ROCKTOBERFEST PLANS

I'll be posting all weekend. 

So while you're sitting around watching THIS...

Tune in here at intermission

:)

ROCKTOBER 2012

It's ROCKTOBER people.

I've got plans.

Big plans.

It's going to be an awesome month.

Can ya feel it?

UNDER THE INFLUENCE

I didn't believe them.

When everyone told me time would go too quickly.

The first three months of her life seemed to be in slow motion.

Then - 

It changed.

Life sped up.

Here we are:

School bound.

What?! 

The thing is...

I only have 2 more years with her.

And then...

She will spend more waking, daily hours under the influence of teachers - other than myself.

She will belong to the education system. 

She will no longer be my baby that goes where I go and fills my ear with a mousey voice of constant intriguing chatter.

2 years is not enough time. 

I want forever.

I want to be "Mom - the woman that knows everything and has all the answers." forever.

So I will listen now.

Enjoy every moment -

for it will pass in the twinkling of an eye. 

JOGGLING- the definition

They say: If you fall off the horse a thousand times... get back on a thousand and one.

I feel like this is the ten thousandth time I'm getting back on the horse.

It always feels better the moment I get back on - than it feels to stand next to the horse and debate walking away.

It's been 4 weeks since I've started working with Mary Foss, ie: The Boss Foss. My first day back on the horse I attempted a brisk walk - I barely made it 1.5 miles. And my body hurt. It ached, it cried, it moaned. And I felt like I wanted to get off that horse, walk hobble away and never look back. Ever.

But I kept going.

It' hasn't been as consistent and I or The Boss Foss would like it to be - but the mornings after a decent nights sleep, I've been waking up at 6am to walk.

A few weeks into my walking - my body hurt less and less and I even began to feel the twitching of a desire to run jog. It's Joggling actually. A mix of hobbling and a mix of jogging. My body still hurts and my ankles feel like they're going to give out beneath me at any step. I'm carrying so much weight I really can't call it running or jogging because it's a slow and decrepit shuffle... but it's the preface to an actual jog. "Someday,"  I chant under my labored wheezing, "someday you'll run again, someday."

My 1.5 miles grew to 2.5 miles and there it began - the bits and pieces of joggling between a few minutes of walking. It added up to a total of less than a half mile.

Today felt different - a good different. For the past two weeks I've been forcing myself to get in bed at 10 pm. And the last two nights, Ohwee even slept soundly through the night without waking me. And today I joggled the farthest I have since I started - .613 miles - non stop. What a feeling of accomplishment I felt. A feeling I haven't felt since birthing my son. Wow, I did that. It's been a while since I've accomplished anything with my body.  That's how down in the dumps my body is right now. But I joggled over a half mile and I loved it.

My body is screaming at me this afternoon and my right ankle usually causes me problems for the rest of the day on my walk days. But it's proof that I'm back on the horse and riding again. Giddy-Yup

JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY

I have a love hate relationship with Monday's. It's my favorite day to get life back on track. Clean, plan, prepare, wash, fold, scrub, put away, re stock... etc. I love it. But it's also so annoying to lose an entire day to getting this done every week. My level of organization and cleanliness on any given Monday is usually a sign of the week to come and the level of chaos that ensues.  Ie: If I don't re stock all the diaper stations, catch up on laundry and mop the weekend mess off the floor... life is a lot harder when it comes time to diaper, dress and feed the children throughout the week.
P.S
I'm loving this overcast and cool, autumn weather - aren't you?

IT'S A ONCE A YEAR KINDA THING

My poor children. I must be the meanest mom on the block. I despise these shopping carts. As if I don't already have a wide enough load of people, car seats and stuff to haul around the store... like I need a limousine length shopping cart with perfect access windows for my children to rip everything off the shelves at eye level. Seriously. Who's ridiculous idea was this to invent a shopping cart that makes shopping an even more stressful event in a mothers life :)
Am I so mean - when Layla asks if she can ride in one, I tell her they only let you ride in them when it's your birthday. On her birthday, we picked her cake up at Harm0ns and yes, I let her ride in one. But I gave her lots of reminders that it's only on your birthday. So now when we approach a store with the dreaded car carts... my poor daughter says, "Oh, they have those birthday shopping carts. Can I ride in one again on my birthday?"
Am I so rude or what? Sorry kids. I love you - I'll make it up to you someday.

WHEN IT'S GOOD... IT'S SO GOOD

Tuesday was good to me. Actually this whole week has been on the ups, but Tuesday was especially insightful.
The day started off pretty rough. I was actually looking foreword to following my workout plan. It was 6:15 am, my walking shoes on, dog leash in hand and T-minus .5 seconds from walking out the door and Layla's door opens and she wanders downstairs. "Where you going mom?" Then a tantrum ensued because she couldn't go with me and I begged her to go back to bed. Of course her blood curdling screams awoke the entire household and there you have it - my attempt at exercise was once again sabotaged. Layla learned a hard lesson that if she gets out of bed and starts her day screaming... chores will fill her spare time until we can regain control over her now awake brothers. She put a load of laundry in and helped me fold a basket of dry clothes. Then we reviewed the get out of bed rules: 1. if you need to potty - go do it and get back in bed quietly. 2. you're welcome to get out of bed when the upside down letter L is on your clock and when you're happy. (7am)... and we continued on our day.

I had all the kids dressed, fed and the house cleaned by 9:30 am and that felt amazing. The boys napped and Layla helped me prepare all the ingredients needed for our dinner. She loves to don her apron and work as my assistant chef. As I was working on putting together my grocery list for later in the day - Layla came up from the play room holding a broken table leg. Instead of ranting and raving about how climbing on tables is not ok... I tried with all my might to implement the Love and L0gic techniques I've been trying to learn. I simply said, "Uh Oh, that's so sad. How are you going to fix that problem?" She didn't know so I made the suggestion that she probably needed to pay for the tools to fix it. She agreed, so we went upstairs and emptied her piggy bank onto her bed. She decided that 1/2 of all her money was enough to pay for the new table leg and I agreed. We gathered her coins into a bag and she happily handed it over to pay for some wood glue and screws. Done. Lesson learned and no screaming or crying required. I doubt she'll be climbing on any tables again soon. It was an awesome motherhood moment.

My mom came over and watched the boys while I took my Buca Bird on a little date to the grocery store. I certainly forgot how fun it is to hang out with her individually and she is such a gem. A sweet little helper that likes to have fun and soaked up the attention she so readily deserves. We shopped and tickled and sang songs and ate chocolate. I just love her so much.

Home, groceries away and we ALL took a nap. Yes, I took a nap with the Ohwee on my bed and it was a slice of heaven. He is my snugga bug and I hope he stays my little man forever. We all awoke and decided to play in the basement. The kids played happily in the playroom, I had Pand0ra Toddler Station blaring and I folded laundry. It was one of the happiest moments I've had with these three kids.
Then thanks to my morning dinner prep with Layla - dinner was done in a breeze.

Kids bathed, jammied and we played in the boys room until their eyes grew heavy.  And I watched my three beautiful children crawl around each other and giggle and laugh. My life is oh so good.

The key to my successful day was planning ahead, staying calm, and most of all LIVING IN THE MOMENT. BREATHING IN THE NOW. It makes such a difference when I just slowed down enough to enjoy the moment. Even the times when things weren't running smoothly. I really thought about the speed at which these kids lives are flashing by - this is a really hard stage but it's going to be over so so soon. Another year and Rider will be 2 and owen will be 1 1/2. I MUST SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY THESE BABY BOYS WHILE THEY ARE STILL BABIES. I feel like I missed the last year of Layla's life. She turned 2, all chaos began and before I knew it 3 hit me across the face. I don't want to miss anymore time. So I think we'll try to make more days like Tuesday. And life will be good.

TWENTY MINUTE RULE

It's kinda like the ten second rule with food... but not really.
I've come to the realization that for the most part our day runs pretty smoothly - thanks to a constantly tuned schedule. However, there's about 2-4 times a day when all hell breaks lose and I feel like the world in crumbling on top of me... and it seems to last for about 20 minutes. Twenty whole minutes of crying, whining, needy, meltdown chaos, and then we pull ourselves together and regain control of the situation. I've decided to label these moments as TMR time and just go with it when it happens. Pre-dinner table time and bed time seem to be the two most consistent TMR's of each day and depending on our outing of choice there's usually a TMR near the time we should pack up and head home. TMR's often include all three children needing to eat at the same time, the boys needing a diaper change and Layla needing a potty stop, and or everyone is tired and we need to get ready for naps. And more often than not: TMR= all three elements combusting at once.
When the twenty minutes of chaos begins, I usually just remind myself that it's only going to last a few short minutes and then we can reclaim control and move foreword. The best part is there's usually about 20 minutes of the calm before and after the storm... and I soooo look foreword to those calm moments.

TRICKS OF THE TRADE

While loitering at my mothers house and pawning my children off to her, so I could finally complete sewing a crib skirt for my almost eight month old.... she had a visitor. The Mrs. Caroline Taylor, mother of ten? kids, all born within a year apart of each other. Ya. Yikes stripes! I couldn't help but put my feelers out for any advice from a fellow perfectionistic mother. Her response: "There tricks you know!?"
Whhhaaahhht? Tricks?
Oh yes, this woman is brilliant and genius and I begged her for more tricks once she lured me in with the first two.
What's that? You want to know these super awesome tricks this woman speaks of? Get your pen and paper... these are good.
1. Dinner in the bathtub. You know those nights after you spend all day cleaning the house and mopping the goop of the kitchen floor and you REALLY don't feel like serving dinner only to find another mess of food and goop... again. Get the kids nakey, stick them in the tub, and serve pancakes, let them go ape wild with the mess and when they're done, wash rinse and done. GENIUS I tell you. I mean it's not like something I'd do every night. Besides, sloppy joes don't exactly wash down the drain... but we all have those nights when this idea would make life awesome.

2. Lunch on the dishwasher door. The answer to the "I do it!" stage of toddlerhood. When they insist on making their own sandwich or pouring their own drinks... open the door to the dishwasher and voila! You have a toddler height table that catches all spills and thrills and when they're done with their masterpiece PB&J - SHUT THE DOOR and the mess is gone!

Holy smokes! This woman should write a book. I begged her to email me more tips but I'm pretty sure she's too busy with her newborn grandchild and 5 of her kids moving over the past week. SO I'M ASKING YOU - WHAT ARE YOUR BEST TRICKS OF THE TRADE?

And Caroline- if you're reading this... you're amazing and I'm dying to hear more of your first rate mother of the year tricks.

THE DAY MY EARTH SHOOK

I don't know if it is my natural maternalistic compulsion or some fabricated notion that my infertility devised... PERFECTION. Maybe it happened the moment my OBGYN said "You have PCOS and it's most likely going to be very difficult to conceive," that I felt a urning pull toward motherhood and the desire to make my motherhood experience perfect. Twenty four seven I expected perfection. Or maybe it happened the very moment when baby Layla was placed in my arms and the sense of feeling like I had to somehow be a better mother to this spirit than her birth mom would have been. Who knows? I can't really trace the notion back to it's original millisecond of conception... I just know it has been on the foreground of my daily routine over the past three years that I've been in the matriarch role. The need for the perfectly organized diaper bag, the immaculate interior of my car, the always dressed and hair done children, the ever prepared woman with a back up outfit and enough diapers to outlast any mishap, the spotless carseat, the unmistakably labeled formula canister... I had the inner most desire for it to always be perfect. I never thought I'd be legitimate enough to actually belong in the baby isle let alone own half of the items stocking it. So why wouldn't I want it all to be perfect?

 Because once upon a time, it was only a fantasy.

Last Wednesday at approximately 10:30 am - I let a BIG piece of my perfectionism go. Not all of it, but a BIG piece. I was at the park with all three children, meeting with the mothers involved in Layla's Joy School to plan the curriculum. I had set a blanket out on the grass with a plethora of various toys and goodies to keep Rider entertained for a month. I fully expected my walking mischievous male toddler to stay on the blanket... Layla always did. A few moments later I turned to find my son sitting in the one and only puddle left from the earlier watering of the sprinklers. My heart leapt up into my throat and acute panic set into my body pumping full of maxed out blood pressure!!!! Ahhhh! What am I to do!!!??? There he sat, happy, intrigued, splashing and smiling. He even doused his favorite "rug" or soft blanky with the new found wetness he'd independently discovered. I slowed my racing thoughts of how to fix this, I concentrated on his joy, and I asked myself three simple questions:
"What's the worst that could happen?" (this doesn't usually work for a polarized thinker like myself)
"Is he safe?"
"Is he happy?"
And at that instant - I was able to recognize the moment I stepped away from the surface of motherhood and stepped deeper into my real job as a mother. So what!? So he has to ride home in the car in just a diaper?! So I have to wash his rug when I get home! SO FREAKING WHAT. Wow, that felt SO GREAT TO LET GO!!!! It's like the Earth shook and I rattled around like marble in a maze and I couldn't believe how good it felt to let go of the perfection. My findings became so obvious to me: I'm not a mother so my kids life will be perfect and in control at every moment. I AM a mother so that I can guide them, allow life experience while maintaining safety, love my children and let them have joy. Sometimes joy comes from messiness. Sometimes fun comes from unpreparedness. Sometimes joy comes from organization and planning. I'm learning to let my children experience a little more of the joy that comes from the messiness - and I think they're loving every minute of it so far.

EVOLUTION OF THE MONKEY

Me Monkey...

He walks...

Evolution at its finest.

FINDING SDAY AT HER BIGGEST

I'm in a place physically that I swore I'd never allow my body to return, and now I've not only returned to an obese body, I've maxed out. When I lost weight the first time and found the sday I knew resided deep within, I swore I'd never let the number on the scale start with a 2 again. Now it does and I'm in a bad, bad physical state. My feet ache as if the bones are breaking with every step the weight bending and pushing the bones to their limits. I can't move quickly in the way necessary as a mother of three. I'm tired and lethargic all the time and even worse, I'm frustrated and discouraged. I worked SO HARD to get me weight in control and I found a lifestyle I loved with running and triathlons. I feel so very far away from that person I found 3 years ago. Where did she go? I'm left with only photo's and memories of the good time and the happy place I was in.
What is the first step to digging deep and finding that life again? I don't know. I've debated for months and months at how to take the first step away from the body I'm trapped in currently. Then I realized it doesn't need to be some "big move" or grandiose change in lifestyle. I also came to the conclusion that this journey will not be the same as my last, so I need to stop trying to make it the same. Change comes in tiny choices. One little choice at time. I don't have the mental, physical or emotional capeability of chaning my entire life over night. Although, I kept telling myself that's what I needed to do... I realize now it's not.
One choice at a time. One step at a time. One walk turns into one jog turns to one run... train... race... ride... swim... tri... ect. I can't change things over night. As much as I've laid in bed and begged God to just let it happen overnight and bless me with my old body and old strength against the power of food, good things don't come overnight. Hard work is what will get me there. And if there's anything I know about myself - it's that I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

So can this chick. She's hardcore and she's my new coach. She races professionally as a mountain biker on Kday's KUHL cycling team. She's accomplished a lot of things and recently was a Xterra World Champ competitor in Hawaii.  She does hard things like THIS and she's helping me take one small step at a time and one choice at a time.

Today was a 45 min fast pace walk and 20 squats. It sounds simple compared to the 1/2 marathon I ran last year before I found out I was pregnant. But in the situation I've put myself in, it's equally hard. Sad I know. But what's done is done and there's nowhere to go but foreword. I'm sure to find new things about sday along this new journey, stay tuned and I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for your support. It makes each step feel a little less scary.

BIRTHDAY BALL

He cried most the night but all the same, it was a superb way of celebrating the wonderful 365 days of survival under our belts. This boy was born into the eye of the tornado and although things have quieted down around him, he continues to barrel through life with a whirlwind affect left in his shadow.   He was merely a 3 week old duckling when we packed up and moved, 20 weeks when we added another sibling, 6 months when he was sealed to his family, and 9 months when we packed up and moved again. He hasn't missed a beat but in the last few weeks of a more stagnant lifestyle he's learned a few tricks. He walks, he's obsessed with balls, and he can out holler any other child in the house. I'm sure it's a method of survival, survival of the loudest - seems to gets his needs met the quickest. 

He wasn't too keen on the birthday hat I spent hours and hours making or the cake for that matter. Of course. But what he did LOVE was his new place of residence in his waking hours. Rita knew just what he needed when she scored this awesome, indoor trampoline. And what's a trampoline if it's not filled with the boys favorite toy?! Balls!
And just when he's worn himself out from jumping and clanking around on his new work bench, he can put his feet up for a little R&R in the new club chair his Nana brought him.

We ate cake, blew out candles, dipped ice cream cones into sprinkles, opened gifts and what birthday would be complete without a singing bouquet of balloons? I mean, really!

The party was a ball and I think he rather enjoyed it... except for the screaming hat and cake part :)