What is the first step to digging deep and finding that life again? I don't know. I've debated for months and months at how to take the first step away from the body I'm trapped in currently. Then I realized it doesn't need to be some "big move" or grandiose change in lifestyle. I also came to the conclusion that this journey will not be the same as my last, so I need to stop trying to make it the same. Change comes in tiny choices. One little choice at time. I don't have the mental, physical or emotional capeability of chaning my entire life over night. Although, I kept telling myself that's what I needed to do... I realize now it's not.
One choice at a time. One step at a time. One walk turns into one jog turns to one run... train... race... ride... swim... tri... ect. I can't change things over night. As much as I've laid in bed and begged God to just let it happen overnight and bless me with my old body and old strength against the power of food, good things don't come overnight. Hard work is what will get me there. And if there's anything I know about myself - it's that I CAN DO HARD THINGS.
So can this chick. She's hardcore and she's my new coach. She races professionally as a mountain biker on Kday's KUHL cycling team. She's accomplished a lot of things and recently was a Xterra World Champ competitor in Hawaii. She does hard things like THIS and she's helping me take one small step at a time and one choice at a time.
Today was a 45 min fast pace walk and 20 squats. It sounds simple compared to the 1/2 marathon I ran last year before I found out I was pregnant. But in the situation I've put myself in, it's equally hard. Sad I know. But what's done is done and there's nowhere to go but foreword. I'm sure to find new things about sday along this new journey, stay tuned and I'll keep you posted.
Thanks for your support. It makes each step feel a little less scary.
8 comments:
I can not tell you how much your raw honesty speaks to heart! I am going through a struggle, much the same. It is nice to know I am not alone. One day at a time.
Oh dear Shannon, how completely I relate to what you are going through. How many times I lost and gained the same 50 pounds. You are right in that each time is different and our situations in life change and so does our approach to the problem. The first baby step for me was to acknowledge that there was a problem and I needed to deal with it; the problem wasn't ME, (I wasn't a lazy slob) ,the problem was the choices I was making relative to the foods I was eating, the portions I was eating, and how much or little regular exercise I was getting.
Sometimes it means just focusing on one thing for a week; like eat more fruits and veggies this week. Maybe another week it is cutting down portion sizes, etc. The little things all add up. Keeping track of the weekly goals can help.
It took me a long time to get to the emotional point I arrived at about 12 years ago when I was able to say to myself, "Mary, you have lost the weight AGAIN. You can never, never, never let anything in your life from now on trick you into putting that weight back on-- EVER. For some reason I have finally been able to establish a pattern of weighing myself every week and giving myself a few pounds of leeway to work within, but loving myself enough to keep working at it day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year, and now decade after decade. My heart is with you and I know you can do anything.
I have known you for seven years now, and I know you can do hard things.
Oh Shan, You are my inspiration (stop don't roll your eyes at me) you were the one that inspired me my first half marathon a year and a half ago and the one after that. You do amazingly hard things all the time, that leave me breathless and in awe! You CAN do this, like you said one step at a time.
Love you friend!
P.S. come check out my blog I have news ;)
Shan you rock!! Yes, you most definitely can do hard things! And you will do this. Just remember it is not all or nothing. And it IS baby steps. Do not be hard on yourself!!! Be as gentle with yourself as you would with any of us! ♥
you can do it. And if you want a slow running partner I'm your girl.
Cheering you on! You are amazing and I wouldn't have gotten into running without your encouragement and support. Remember, 'We are awesome', right :)!
Hi Shandogdeedododidyday. I attempted to send a comment the other day, but this social media sucks when it comes to user-friendliness (just my opinion). I am so proud of you, your family and all that you do. Life is a constantly changing set of circumstances and being able to change and adapt to each situation is one of the challenges we all face. Time marches on and things that worked yesterday, may or not work today. Roll with the punches, set your goal for the next tree up the hill (remember Mount Olympus), you don't have to always have the summit in mind, just the next tree up the hill, then the one after that, and so on until you are at the summit.
If you want a bike ridding partner, let me know.
Love you, Dad
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