TRIPPLE YIKES

60 days people! I have 60 short days until my third child arrives. Holy smokoloy. The to do lists are expanding by the minute... so much so that I think I'll lay down and take a nap. It's worn me right out. I'll be back tonight with a few new posts.
Until then, start thinking of everything I could possibly need to know, have, purchase, etc.. in order to survive parenthood x 3 and please leave it in the comments box. I must be as prepared as possible. And YOU are the ticket to getting there. You know more than I do.

INFERTILITY EXPLAINED PERFECTLY

C.jane read my mind. She is the sister of the well known survivor and blogger Nie Nie, and she's a fantastic writer. On the eve of having her third baby - after years of a struggle with infertility, she wrote THIS POST. Please read it. Its like she crept into my mind one night and translated every thought I've ever conceived regarding my history with infertility. Wow, she put's it so perfectly and well written. She was able to tap into my deepest swirling and confused thoughts and explain them with the greatest of ease.

Her post is one that is a precursor to my soap box for "I'M NOT A STATISTIC.... DON'T USE ME LIKE ONE."

CALLING A TRUCE

Layla's attitude about life - PRE potty training

Since potty training started, Layla and I have been at odds with each other. I thought we'd get over it within a few days, so we continued on... and on... and on. We've been trudging through the trenches of potty training for over a week now and it's time to face the facts.
Factoid #1.
Yes, Layla is getting the hang of it. And yes, if we continued trudging we'd eventually succeed. Eventually.

Factoid #2.
We have been each other's worst enemy since I got the redonculous idea to force Layla into growing up before she was ready.

Factoid #3.
It's not worth losing my sanity, Layla's quality of life, and our friendship, just to save a few bucks a month.

I know we've crossed the potty training hump, HOWEVER, Layla and I are both miserable every minute of the day except when she's in a pull up. So it's time to swallow my pride and cut my losses. I've had an inkling since day one that I might be pushing this topic a little to hard. And last week when I had talked myself into calling it quits - I was totally relieved. But I ignored my first instincts and we pushed foreword. But I've come to my senses and now I'm going to follow my instincts. Life has been miserable and it's really not worth it. Layla will be happier, I'll be happier. So back to diapers it is. Go ahead and judge me. I failed. I quit. Whatever. I'm positive it will bring joy back to my life with my little girl- and that's more important than being the first mom on the block to potty train. Plus, after an intervention of sorts with some of my favorite people, it only validated my decision and reminded me that motherly instincts are worth following and pride is worth swallowing. Thank you ladies.

LISTS, A SHOWER, MERCY, VERBIAGE, HOT CHOCOLATE, AND A RETURN

Rider enjoying a little time with his "Angel"
The first time they've met since she relinquished her rights and placed him in Kevin's arms 2+ months ago

LISTS

Nesting has begun again. 

Wow, I'm barely recovered from Rider's nesting period. 

If my configurations are accurate - I have about 4 weeks to prepare and complete everything on my list.

I want everything ready 4 weeks prior to my due date.

In order to enjoy the holidays as well as the last month of my life with 2 kids and the last month of carrying life inside... I must be prepared by December 16th.

The "list" phase has officially begun.

"Christmas shopping list"

"To do before the baby arrives list"

"What the "boys" need list"

"Hospital packing list"

A SHOWER

I have a baby shower tonight. 

I am so excited, yet it seems so surreal for some reason.

To be completely honest - I never thought I'd get to have a baby shower while actually pregnant

Is it going to be any different Layla's shower that we had after she arrived?

I feel overwhelming blessed that people are offering to shower me with more gifts of love after we were already so over showered with Layla's arrival. 

Wow.

I don't deserve it.

It makes me feel special.

And awkward :)

MERCY

The good Lord has shown me so much love this past few weeks.

I've logged a few tough days under my belt over the last few months - yet how can I complain because I've also been more blessed in my life over the past few months than ever in my life. 

Despite the fact that my prayers have been greatly lacking lately, Heavenly Father has sent me Tender Mercies over the past few days. 

You know who you are.

My "Tuesday Girl"

And the special phone calls I got yesterday for just "checking in" purposes

All the people who've let me cry over lunch or over the phone

I'm fine.

Just anxious and overwhelmed and hormonal.

I need to hit my knees and thank God for everything and everyone he's put in my life.

And I need to remember that people aren't helping me because I can't handle my life... it's because they're showing me mercy for the challenge that is my life right now.

VERBIAGE

Just a funny note that K.C pointed out today while we were chatting and walking with our kidlettes in tow....

She noticed that I always say "When we get the baby." 

K.C said how funny it is that I've never said "When I have the baby."

Or "After I deliver the baby."

I've always been very careful as to how I spoke about our pending adoptions and I never knew the right way to talk about "getting a baby." 

So it seems so foreign to me to talk about HAVING a baby!

Funny.

I'm having a baby.

Yikes.

I guess I better start accepting it - and saying it out loud.

HOT CHOCOLATE

Kday, Rider and I all drove down to the yummiest hot cocoa parlor in SLC and met up with Rider's Angel.

She looked stunning as usual.

And we talked for 3.5 hours.

It was so comfortable and natural - it was like meeting up with an old dear friend.

And she is... a dear friend.

Someone we love very much and someone that is very special.

She held Rider and admired him the same way we do every day.

She fed him and rocked him to sleep.

We chatted about everything from her labor and delivery to politics and everything in between.

It was awesome.

I'm sure we'll do it again.

And even if it's not for a long time - I'm certain we'll just pick up where we left off.

It made me happy for multiple reasons.

RETURN

I've officially made my return to yoga and walking. 

Celebration.

I've been too chicken to exercise much during this pregnancy. 

Stupid I know.

But I started going to my favorite Yin-Yang yoga class again and it's AMAZING.

My body and mind are greatly in need of the stretching and meditation.

It's such a balance between being active and quiet - mind and body

Yes, I feel like an elephant on it's back trying to look graceful.

It's awkward and I look silly.

But it's sooooooooooo good.

Walking, yes, walking. I've been too scared to even do much of that.

Craziness right!?

But we got our double jogger and I threw the kids in it today and went for a good old fashioned brisk walk with K.C today and it invigorated me in a way that I've been missing for 7 months.

No matter the weather, we'll be walking every single day of the remainder of this pregnancy.

It's a promise. 

THE END 

SEEING 30/30

 I'm officially 30 weeks tomorrow. And in the all the chaos of moving and Rider's arrival - I failed to blog about turning 30. First off, I obviously didn't meet my weight goal of losing 30 lbs before my 30th bday... but I most certainly met my pregnancy weight gain of 30 lbs :) Can that count? Thirty weeks is a little bitter sweet for me. The end is nearing and I'm loving pregnancy so much that I don't want the end to near yet. If I could push a "pause" button and stay in this stage of pregnancy forever, I absolutely most certainly would. It's the best... minus my fat face. Ya, that's the key, gimme back my jaw line and a little tone in my arms and legs and I could stay here forever. I can't believe it's gone so quickly. May 14th was the first time I saw those double pink lines on the test... well, all 6 tests :) It seems like an eternity ago that I was holding Kday's hand while quaking on the table as each second ticked by in slow motion as we waited to see a heart beat. And every appointment since that first one - I've held my breath until I hear the sweet music of his heart beating independently of mine. It's a miracle. So I'm welcoming the 30 week mark with eager plans of preparing for this little miracle man to arrive. I'm also planning on savoring every last taste of pregnancy I am blessed enough to experience.

As for turning 30... that rocked. My twenties weren't the fun filled, carefree, super hot body, years that most people experience. Although I was so happy to be married to my soul mate and to graduate college and settle into a home, my depression controlled the majority of my twenties. I struggled to survive some days. Literally, life was sometimes so overwhelming that I didn't think I go on for another day. But I fought and with the help of my family and my two Becky's, I found life. Near the end of my twenties I was able to find sday. I had become so lost that I had no idea what to even look for. And then slowly but surely I started finding piece by piece, small bits of myself and the things I have to offer this life. By the age of 26 I was on the road to joy and fulfillment. I kind of feel like I'm just at the beginning of the awesome road of joy I've discovered. I think my thirties are only going to expand my self discovery. Thirties also bring security, I'm secure in who I am and what I have to offer. I'm secure in my marriage and role as a mother. I'm secure in my knowledge that I have 100% control over my physical fitness and health. My depression no longer rules my life and I am the one in drivers seat. Thirties are going to be great because I'm secure in the knowledge that I can be me... and although it's a little quirky, crazy, wild, loud, unstable, and different - it's who I am and I don't need to change for anyone. If someone doesn't like it, they can leave it.
Except you Kday... You're stuck with me :)

MAKING BUBBLES

 The aftermath

So we're officially into potty training 4 days now. The first day sucked rocks. Big time. By 10 a.m the second day she understood what it meant to "go on the potty." The first time she realized she was doing her business on the potty she said, "Oh I made bubbles!" So now that's the cue for her to actually pee. For the remainder of day 2, as long as I stayed on her like white on rice - she didn't have any accidents because the minute I'd sit her on the potty she'd "make bubbles."

 Twenty four hours later, however, was a whole other story. She had already wet through about 6 pairs of big girl undies by 10 a.m and I was so discouraged that she wasn't telling me when she needed to go! She would still do "bubbles" on the potty if I put her on it... but I was expecting her to tell me most of the time she had the urge. Well, by noon yesterday I felt like a total failure and I was milliseconds away from just putting her back into a diaper because I was so overwhelmed at the idea of these continual accidents happening. How long were they going to go on? I wondered. It is so much more convenient to just stick a diaper on and have my freedom back... I justified. 

But then after many, many, many, moments of crying and seeking advice from close friends and family, I decided we've come too far and MY freedom is not worth sacrificing LAYLA'S learning and growth.  So despite feeling like a total failure and being so angry that Layla was not telling me yet that she needed to make bubbles accurately, we have kept on trucking through the process. 

And I should mention that I had really attempted to just wing it for the first 3 days without following a book or any type of "program." Stupid idea sday, the one time I decide NOT to have a plan... stupid stupid stupid. POTTY TRAINING NEEDS A PLAN PEOPLE! I don't care what system you chose, but I think that following a system is what helps a person be consistent and that is what helps the child understand exactly what skill it is that we're asking them to master. 

So after a tearful phone conversation with a friend and debating quitting and just putting all this added stress off until next year - I decided to follow an Ebook that my friend emailed me. I'm not sure the exact name but it's awesome and it's working beautifully. The whole idea of the program is for the child to learn quickly how to tell you that they have the urge. Layla so quickly learned the first step which was "how to make bubbles" but she was sooo soooo sooo not understanding how to give me warning - or how to feel her body warn her. But with this program we're following, she is figuring it out rather quickly. In fact, I have been interrupted twice while typing this post because she has given me cues that she needed to go and she was able to run to the bathroom and climb onto her princess potty before making her bubbles. It wasn't the ideal "Mom, I need to go potty!" statement I am still waiting to hear, but it was something to the affect of "I need a diaper change" which was an immediate trigger in my mind that the goods were about to arrive :) If you know what I mean! 

So... day four brings a feeling of hope. I'm looking foreword to what day 5-6-7 will bring and I'm praying really hard that it will bring more success and the ability for her to tell me she needs make bubbles. As long as I don't end up with a sink full of Th0mas the Tra1n undies at the end of each day - I'll be happy. Yes, she picked out boy undies. And I rather like that about her.

HALLOWEEN EXTRAVAGANZA 2011

 Our annual Day Family Halloween party began as usual with carving pumpkins.... lot's and lots of pumpkins. Layla found it more entertaining to eat caramel popcorn while sitting next to me as I carved.

 Rider did his part to contribute to the pumpkin show... He made a pretty cute pumpkin topper.

 Because it's a 2-3 day event, Layla needed to show off her pre-party halloween attire

 Rider had a few outfits and smiles to show off as well

 He takes these events very seriously....

 I carved and painted the children's profile into a pumpkin for them.... Kind of trendy -

 But cute, so whatever :)

 The girl cousins (missing a darling little red headed swiss miss)

 My darlingest little witch

 I was shocked at how much Layla loved her costume and was willing to wear her hat the entire night. And I couldn't get over her little pot belly hanging out over her skirt. Oh, she was so stinking cute - she made my night perfect.

This is "Rita" (her blog name) She's amazing! Not only did she put on an amazing feast of food for us for 3 days and nights, but she took care of Monkey the entire weekend. She really is a rockstar for everything she does for her family and I never find time to thank her enough. So - THANK YOU RITA! 

 This handsome count can bite my neck any day... 

And I kinda liked his dark hair!

 The "woman folk" of the party. All the adult ladies pulled of some awesome witch costumes and the youngin's were western cowgirls. Layla kept asking... where's their cows?

 Kday and I hit the sidewalks with Layla for trick or treating together this year and it was one of my most memorable experiences. My heart felt like it was being tickled with feathers as I watched my "baby" run up the porch and ask for a "twick oh tweet" in her squeaky little voice. She was so grown up and finding so much fun in the little things life has to offer. Kday and I slowly walked behind her and reminisced about how we got here and how lucky we are. Life is short and living in the moment and capturing the essence of the situation you're in is the best way to slow life down and enjoy the ride.
I can't say I did that yesterday during potty training... but I definitely did it on Halloween and my cup runneth over. My life is good.

 Buca thought life was great when we returned to Rita's with a full bag of candy and fresh frosted cookies to devour - before dinner :)

 The Day Family - We need to get as many family pictures as possible these days because our family portrait will be changing shortly! 

Kday getting the kids wound down and ready for bed

Until next year....

Hope your haunting was as happy as ours.