I'm not really sure how to explain my feelings. Maybe they're totally normal for any woman who is 1 week away from possibly becoming a parent for the first time. At times I am so eager to meet this baby girl and start getting to know her. I haven't had the luxury of spending every day with her over the last nine months, carrying her around in my body. I wonder if I'll bond with this baby instantly or if our love will grow as time together continues.
I feel so overwhelmed of the thought of the adoption process and the aching pain that our birth-mother will be experiencing as she places her baby in our arms and asks us to promise to cherish her for eternity. I grieve for her loss and I yet I'm so eager to be the mother to this child that she wants me to be. I have the deepest desire to be everything to this baby that I've always dreamt of being. I want more than anything to be a great mother. I will do my best on a daily basis to live up to the promises I have made to this woman. I will be forever indebted to her, as she is giving me a gift that is unmeasurable. I will never have words enough to express my gratitude. She is giving her daughter the gift of a life with two dedicated parents who respect and love each other and will work together to provide the best life they can for her, including taking her to the temple to be sealed.
I am filled with torn emotions from excitement for the possibility of becoming a mother, and sorrow for a mother who will say goodbye to a daughter that she truly loves more than herself. I can't think of a more selfless act than to love your child enough that you'll spare your own wishes in order to provide her with a better life.
finding
- S.DAY
- After overcoming a decade of depression, infertility, and obesity - I've found life. And after losing over 50 lbs and then gaining it all back during a miraculous pregnancy... I'm finding the inner sday. These are my findings.
my mr
k.day
my buca
my monkey
my ohwee
my pup
Kashi
4 comments:
We have been in your shoes. The second we drove up to Ari's hut and saw her legs kicking I knew she was my little angel. Your connection will be instant. Our Heavenly Father put this little one on the earth to be your daughter. Just because Kel didn't give birth to Ari it doesn't make our bond any less. I think it makes it stronger. The emotion you have is very real. It was the hardest and the best moment when we drove away with Ari. You will be an awesome Mom and Kevin will be an awesome Dad. Cerish every moment!
I am so excited for you. You and Kevin have so much love to give to this sweet little baby. I think when you first look at eachother she will know you are her mother. You guys are going to be such awesome parents!
This post is so amazing. Shannon, you are such and incredible person and I know without a shadow of a doubt that you will be an amazing mom. We are so excited to meet your little girl.
Shan, I am so touched by this post. You are going to be one unbelievable momma. You can tell you have a lot of love to give to that little girl and that is awesome in and of itself. You guys are going to be the raddest parents ever. I can just envision you guys taking her out on the best adventures of her life with all the things you do, and the way you are with each other and your friends is just proof at what awesome parents you guys will be. She's very lucky.
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