BABY STEPS

LAYLA 10 WEEKS

I always figured I would look foreword to the time that I wouldn't be in close contact with a birthmother. Before we met our birthmother (KM) and brought Layla into our family, I assumed that I would always be afraid of her ability to control the outcome of my life. However, since establishing such a loving, healthy relationship with our birthmother, my emotions tend to catch me by surprise. We are entering a new phase in our adoption, one that limits our communication through email and focus's more on written letter and picture updates. A little piece of my everyday life is missing. For the last 7 months I have religiously checked my email and kept in close contact with KM (our birthmother.) I have a deep and eternal love for this woman, she has given me an opportunity that nobody else on this earth has been able to do. She specifically chose me to be the mother of her perfect, tiny, innocent baby..... for eternity. 100% Christ like selflessness. Though I am anxious to move foreword in our place as Layla's parents, I will miss her. I will miss the chance to just send a quick little email expressing my love and gratitude toward her. It will be hard to wonder how she is coping and progressing into her new life. Layla is so lucky to have had KM as a birthmom who took such amazing care of her in-utero. Layla is beautiful, I can't take the credit for her outer beauty, but I hope to someday know that I helped her find her inner beauty. I love being a mom. Being an adoptive mom is hard, as it comes with it's own set of extra worries, stresses, and emotions... but it also comes with REALLY profound amounts of gratitude, appreciation, and deep love. I will take a baby step toward this new phase, but it will not change the place in my heart that KM will forever reside in.

THE FIRST TIME I MET MY DAUGHTER

THE FIRST TIME I HELD LAYLA AS HER MOTHER, AFTER RELINQUISHMENT PAPERS WERE SIGNED

MY CUP RUNETH OVER!