I think that books like "baby wise" and "baby whisperer" should come with a disclaimer that reads: "attention mothers, you may do EVERYTHING that we tell you to do in our books, you may READ and re-read and re-read every sentence we write, you may spend sun up to sun down and all the dark hours of the night in between TRYING to follow our counsel PRECISELY for 14 weeks... and your baby will NOT be the happy, peaceful, non crying, scheduled baby that we claim they will be if you do all of the above. You're baby may still be fussy, have melt downs EVERY night, cry for no reason, not eat, and wake up every 30 minutes during their naps during the day. So PLEASE don't feel like failure if that is the case. You can only do so much and the rest is up to the personality traits of your child. You are still a WONDERFUL mother even if you follow our books perfectly and your baby isn't the happiest baby on the block."
I know what you're thinking... she must be doing something wrong, she must not be trying hard enough, she probably isn't doing it the way the book says, or most of all how dare she complain when she's been waiting so long to be a mom. BUT PLEASE don't take this as a complaint of motherhood! Rather a complaint to myself that I shouldn't have expected to be the perfect mom just because I read a couple of books, or for Layla to be the perfect baby just because she is such a miracle. All babies are different and I can only do my best and keep trying to do better every day. I just wish that the books I turn to for help didn't portray the idea of "read this and your baby you'll always know exactly what your baby needs."
10 comments:
You're a wonderful mama but you didn't need me to tell you that. Oh and those books didn't do crap for me and Chloe either. She'll figure out her own schedule soon enough - hang in there!
oh shan shan shan. these books don't make your baby perfect. i tried 3 or 4 and i kept a very strict journal of all jude's naps, eating, etc. but i do promise that around 4 months old, something happens. it just happens! somehow these fussy little ones start to get it. and then by 7 months you are in shock at how amazingly they are adjusting to this foul foul world :) so hang in there. layla is an angel and that's why she needs some adjusting to this world we are in. and you, my love, are an amazing amazing mother. complaining is always allowed no matter what it took to get your little one into the world.
carlyblaney{at}gmail.com email me!! i'll be waiting :)
Em
Shan you are an amazing mom... we talked about this... One day when our kids are teenagers we will look back and say why were we so worried about them eating and sleeping???
Shannie, I agree with everyone else. You and Kevin are great parents....Amazing parents! Not for one moment would anyone think you are not grateful. Even though you have wanted Layla for so long doesn't mean you are both going to have your off days. Thanks for writing this. It's good info for me since my little one is just 6 weeks away!!! I think I will hold off on ordering a lot of books and try to just go with it and see how my little nugget goes. :)
You are the best mommie there is!
Yeah, you can read all the books you want, take all the advice from family and friends, and it still may not work for you and your baby. Don't get down on yourself, everyone is different and if it takes a while (even a year) to get your little one sleeping through the night or on a great schedule, its OK. Your daughter knows you love her and that's what is important. Just enjoy being a mom and don't loose sight of what is simple and can mean the most.
This is exactly why I refuse to read any of those books. Although they do sound tempting but way too good to be true. For me, the first baby was way harder to figure out. Number 2 has been far less frustrating, he's not perfect, I just don't expect him to be.
shannon, the stuff you write is seriuosly priceless!!!! I never read any books (because I'm lazy!) and my kids have turned out fine (well, I mean they're only 4 and almost 2, and are now turning into quite the snotty, rambunctious pair) and I still love them. ALthough it's hard not to yell at them when they are throwing their food on the floor or hitting each other, but like you said every child is different, so you just do what you can do, and little lady will be just fine. Because to me, it sure looks like she is getting a lot of lovin' and that's what she really needs right now, just to know that you love her and are there for her! (I should be telling myself this) anywho, can I just say I LOVE HALLLLLLLLOWEEEEEEEN I think as much as you, if not more. JK. and layla is just a little doll on those pumpkins. that picture is a definite keeper and the soft bunny captions, where hillarious!! You guys are GREAT parents. and I think you're doing a great job. =)
ditto what everyone else said. seriously! you are one amazing mom and layla is such a good baby. books really only offer ideas (even though they claim to be "the answer") and hardly ever do babies actually perfectly respond to those ideas any way. layla is totally going to figure it out and get the hang of things and both of you will find YOUR OWN type of routine/schedule that works for you. forget the books. meanwhile... know (and never question) that you are an amazing mom, layla loves you and knows she is so loved. and i totally agree and love what carly said: "complaining is always allowed no matter what it took to get your little one into the world." NOONE would EVER think you were ungrateful and sometimes its important to vent to keep your own sanity :)
hang in there. love you guys!!!!
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