I sat down last night to write about what an amazing day we'd shared as a family. I tried to come up with a word that could describe what I was feeling. I couldn't find one. So I tried to find a lot of words that could describe it... couldn't. I looked up every word in the thesaurus that even remotely came close to describing my emotional state... nothing measured up. I was naively unaware that I would feel different after walking out of the courtroom. But I absolutely felt different. My true and unconditional love for Layla didn't change, but my ability to finally accept myself as her mother-- did. After 4 years of failed fertility treatments, "no" was always the answer to my question of worthiness to be a mom. Yesterday the answer was finally "yes." Yes the judge stated (on the record,) " Without a doubt in my mind- Kday and Sday will make amazing parents and Layla is lucky to be their daughter." Wow.
No longer do I feel like the second best mother for Layla. I finally just simply feel like her mamma. It feels perfect.
Done. Happy. The End.
4 comments:
SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I love the little smirk on Layla's face.
FINALLY! Yeah! We are so happy for you!! What a relief! Love you guys!
I love that picture of you two!!!!
I kept thinking about you and wondered "How would I feel if that were me?" But some things are too hard to put into words. Congrats!
Post a Comment