( Side note) I'm writing this while I sit in Layla's nursery rocking chair and listen to her try to fall asleep in her crib without her beloved and oh so loved "swaddle" or binki. Anyway, as I was scrubbing the door to my oven this afternoon I got to thinking... that's the problem with cleaning. I think too much when I'm elbow deep in scrubbing bubbles. However, I came across a realization that everyone tolerates different levels of cleanliness and that is OK. For example, I get comments on my blog all the time from fellow mothers telling me that they just live amongst the mess and keep going without focusing on it. Mothers who say they despise cleaning and don't have the patience to keep their house really clean. Another example, I have two dear sister-in-laws who keep the most spotless homes I've ever been inside, even down to the tiniest detail. Whatever the level of cleanliness, it's a personal moment between feeling functional and feeling like you're going to lose your mind if you see one more spec of dust.
I'm calling it your "FUNCTIONAL LEVEL OF CLEANLINESS." My FLOC is different than your FLOC, and we must tend to our own floc, not someone else's. I am able to function well with a disorganized closet and dirty mud room, but I can not even begin the day unless the bed is made and the kitchen is clean. I can tolerate lots of "organized piles" on the kitchen table and a somewhat clean bathroom, but I can't tolerate dust bunnies on my hard wood floors. I have a really hard time dancing around her nursery together when all I can notice is the dust beneath my feet. So as long as the floors are vacuumed, then I can enjoy all the dancing we can squeeze into a day. And someday when I have carpet, I won't have to vacuum as much! Other people must have a perfectly bleached bathroom 24-7 but could care less about making the bed... get my point?
As much we would all love for our houses to look like the inside of a P0ttery Barn catalog, I encourage you to find the level of cleanliness that you tolerate well. The level at which you feel comfortable accomplishing the day to day tasks without feeling like your being swallowed in clutter and dirt. And there is no judgment on your FLOC! That's the beauty of it!
So remember this, the next time someone comes over to your house and you jump onto the apology wagon for your house not being as clean as theirs... stop and remember that your house only has to be as clean as you need it to be in order to function without focusing on the mess. Then invite your guest in, make her a yummy snack and enjoy the conversation and company without feeling guilty or embarrassed :)
(P.S. Layla fell asleep about half way through writing this post! Holy miracle)
*** update: 2 hours later she woke up screaming and wouldn't go back to sleep until I swaddled and binki'd her. We'll try again tomorrow...
*** update: 2 hours later she woke up screaming and wouldn't go back to sleep until I swaddled and binki'd her. We'll try again tomorrow...
2 comments:
I love this post. I had to come to this realization recently. I am a clean freak. Our house accumulates so much dust that sometimes it overwhelms me. It wasn't until I just had to tell myself that it doesn't have to be spotless 24/7 (but I am like you... beds have to be made, kitchen has to be clean DAILY as part of my FLOC) that I was finally able to give myself more time to just enjoy the little moments with jayne (dusting and vacumming each day was taking up so much time). I came up with a schedule that works for me. I do cleaning every day one week at a time. So for one week I clean parts of the house each day really thoroughly and then i do NO CLEANING (except for the daily pick up) for one week. That's my FLOC anyway.. (i love that term!)
PS. we had to go through the same thing with jayne... the nonswaddling. we didn't stop the binky though. when she screamed bloody murder in the middle of her nap we didn't swaddle her but would just give her her binky. it takes a good 2-3 days but if you stick with it then snap- they've got it! the binky still kind of drives me nuts though.... i HATE having to go in and give it to her when she can't put herself back to sleep. you'll have to let me know how it goes with layla and no binky.
shannon, you seriously should be a writer, or even better a motivational speaker!!! I seriously enjoy getting onto your blog and getting uplifted and given some great motivation to just be better....it doesn't matter at what or how good, just do something to become better!!!
and may I say you guys are just livnig the life going on super fun expeditions, etc. That is one thing I wish I was better/did more of.
also, I'm am so excited for you to talk about your depression, because people who haven't had these problems just don't understand. As for me I don't thoroughly know about depression, but I suffer from severe anxiety, panic attacks, etc. So I totally wish I could come to your little class, but I think I'm a little far away!!! Hope it all goes well, you better post about it!! =)
bytheway, my FLOC has just gone down the drain. I wish my house was clean, but it's too hard to keep up with it when 5 sec. later it's dirty again. Plus when you have 4 people making the mess and 1 person cleaning it up, it takes a lot of time and energy, so I just live with the unmade beds, crumbs on the floor, etc. in hopes that one day I will be more organized and get better at this area!!
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