ROUND 6--- it's a doozy!
JULY 2, 2009
8 days until Lady's due date
Although, I'm positive she's coming in two days... Based on what Kday's niece said when asked "When will Aunt Sday and Uncle Kday get a baby?"
She responded, "At the beginning of the parade."
"What parade?"
"The one in the summer with all the horses and candy."
"The 4th of July parade?"
"Ya and it will be a girl"she said.
This conversation happened 4 months prior to us even being contacted by Layla's birth mother
I'm frantically cleaning (nesting), organizing, & doing baby laundry over and over. (it's so cute)
I dropped some Young Women's paperwork off at the Beehive advisors house (because I'm just sure that I won't be there on Sunday)
Worked. Please let today be my last Thursday. I'm ready for my job as a mom.
Cleaned some more
Re-packed baby's suitcase full of bottles-diapers-clothes-and a million other things that we didn't need
Went to the SLC Temple with Kday after he got off work. Loved it.
Home- tried to go to bed-
Panicked. What if we get the call tomorrow. Am I ready? I better go re-read some more chapters in that baby book. Panicked again.
Cried--- a lot. Asked for a blessing. Cried some more.
Wondered what I would do if we came home empty handed and I had to go back to work again. What will I tell the neighbors. What will my family think about adoption. Will they still support us in the next effort, if all this is a bust? Will I survive it? Is Kday going to think I'm crazy if I lose my mind after this all falls through? What if the baby doesn't like me? What if the birth parents change their mind after 10 days? What will I say to the birth mom to thank of of this miracle? Will she think I'm stupid and pathetic? What if she thinks I'm too fat when we get there and she changes her mind? What will the baby look like? Is the house ready? Am I ready? What if I don't know how to hold her or change her diaper? Did I already worry about what if the baby doesn't love me?
+ 12,000,000 other irrational thoughts
Kevin reassured me that I had nothing to worry about. This baby was meant to be a part of our Eternal Family.
I Tried to sleep.
Couldn't
Cleaned, cried and worried some more...
I'm frantically cleaning (nesting), organizing, & doing baby laundry over and over. (it's so cute)
I dropped some Young Women's paperwork off at the Beehive advisors house (because I'm just sure that I won't be there on Sunday)
Worked. Please let today be my last Thursday. I'm ready for my job as a mom.
Cleaned some more
Re-packed baby's suitcase full of bottles-diapers-clothes-and a million other things that we didn't need
Went to the SLC Temple with Kday after he got off work. Loved it.
Home- tried to go to bed-
Panicked. What if we get the call tomorrow. Am I ready? I better go re-read some more chapters in that baby book. Panicked again.
Cried--- a lot. Asked for a blessing. Cried some more.
Wondered what I would do if we came home empty handed and I had to go back to work again. What will I tell the neighbors. What will my family think about adoption. Will they still support us in the next effort, if all this is a bust? Will I survive it? Is Kday going to think I'm crazy if I lose my mind after this all falls through? What if the baby doesn't like me? What if the birth parents change their mind after 10 days? What will I say to the birth mom to thank of of this miracle? Will she think I'm stupid and pathetic? What if she thinks I'm too fat when we get there and she changes her mind? What will the baby look like? Is the house ready? Am I ready? What if I don't know how to hold her or change her diaper? Did I already worry about what if the baby doesn't love me?
+ 12,000,000 other irrational thoughts
Kevin reassured me that I had nothing to worry about. This baby was meant to be a part of our Eternal Family.
I Tried to sleep.
Couldn't
Cleaned, cried and worried some more...
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