WHAT CLIFF?

Ever find yourself standing near a cliff... not knowing how you got there?

Wowza! It's amazing what two days on the gorgeous, thigh high deep, powdered slopes of Utah can do for a woman. Kday and I posted the "off duty" sign and thanks to some swiggity sweet peeps who took the Buca for the weekend, we skied our bunz off. It was an epic day on the slopes with 17 new inches of fresh light powder and my handsome man by my side. I could not have paid a doctor to write a more appropriate prescription for an antidepressant.

I came home with a self nurturing plan to ease my spirits back into the reality of the chaotic world. It's been a rough month and instead of walking away feeling calloused and tougher than before... I have found my depression and anxiety at a surprisingly high rating. A tool I have found helpful in maintaining self awareness is to rate my depression and anxiety on a scale of 1-10. We've all seen the "pain scale" at the doctors office right? Tearful red face on one end and a line of numbers leading to the happy face on the other.

1 being totally in control, happy and symptom free of d/a (depression/anxiety)
10 means call the psych ward and have me committed before I put myself out of my misery.
Over the past 5 years I've managed to stabilize my symptoms around 1-2 and sometimes a 3.
Two weeks ago while I was weeping for no apparent reason, I recognized that I was at a 4-5 and totally caught off guard! Tuesday last week and Sunday... I think a 7 slapped me right across the face! Rude.

Where the hell did that come from?

Is it the crazy diet?
Is it the lack of running?
Is it the weather?
Is it tax season?
Whatever it was... I was spinning out of control. I was a little freaked out, to be completely honest. I have felt "in control" of my symptoms for a half of a decade and now I was feeling paranoid and anxious and with nothing to blame it on.

With no real answers as to "where is this coming from?" And "why now?" I sat down with Kday and devised a plan. You'll hear all about it tomorrow. Skiing was part of the plan. I must say, if the remainder of the plan works as well as the ski slopes did... we have a winner.

Check the smile on my face!

This video doesn't do the snow, or the steep angle of the slope justice. Just know that there were three male snowboarders waiting to make first tracks in this chute... I wasn't about to let a boy get first tracks.