4th FINDINGS

Our 4th was a wonderful day. I will always be reminded as I stand on the edge of the parade, of the emotional state I was in 2 years ago. I reminisced the day that I checked my phone every five seconds and wondered when Layla's birth mother's water would break. I disappointedly went to sleep that night wondering if we would ever get "the call" to go meet our daughter. 

This year a different song sang in my heart. I relished in the perfection that she is in mine and Kday's life.  We still await another adoption and my mind reals constantly over the possible outcomes. I found my mind wandering from taffy sliding across the hot pavement, to wondering if Layla will be celebrating her freedoms with a sibling next year.

But I slid my worries about the lack of control over my future family growth into the back of my mind... for another day perhaps. And we enjoyed our day. It was filled with a depth of gratitude for the freedoms I can celebrate. There are many freedoms that are sacrificed when a person experiences infertility, loss and even the through the miracle of adoption. But on the 4th I chose to focus on the freedoms I do have. I have the freedom to chose to enjoy the journey I'm on and create a happy family within the means I have.

So when you find yourself feeling as though you're backed up against a wall and without the freedom to chose your next move, my advice is to hold onto the ones you love and move foreword without looking back.