Although I've been obnoxiously anxious and excited for this little babe to arrive, I've finally maxed out. Yesterday I was so eager and sick of waiting for my phone to ring as each tick of the clock sounded like a cannon booming in my mind, so I baked. And baked and baked. Cookies coming out of every square inch of my kitchen was all but a simple pastime to get me to the appointment today.
I met Miss X at her Dr office and presented her with a jar of homemade grape juice from last season - as a birthday gift. Today is her birthday and I can't imagine wanting to share this day with a baby that she is about to place in someone else's arms. So although I'm going stir crazy to get this baby here... today is her day.
The doctor did however say that she is dilated to a 3 and she's 80% effaced. Wowza.
I've heard everybody's stories though, "I sat at a 3 for almost a month" or "I was at a 3 and went into labor that night." So basically, tick tock it could be as soon as tomorrow or as late as September 3rd.
And although I've "prepared" every possible baby item in the house and washed every piece of clothing and linen in dreft, I kind of don't really know if I'm actually ready! Kday and I were so nievely excited to bring Buca home and we had no idea the sleepless nights and the never ending bottle making we were getting into. This time it's like knowing how hot the fire is going to be - and still willingly walking into it. I'm nervous to start over with all the sleep training and feeding schedules and generally speaking, "child rearing." We're in the thick of it with setting our standards with Layla teaching her the boundaries of childhood and the rules of the roost. She's learning quickly but it's taking all my time and attention to incorporate the skills I'm trying to implement. Am I going to have time to do that with a new baby? How do you raise two children? How do I handle 1 screaming baby and 1 tantruming toddler? I'm scared. Maybe this little baby can wait a few more weeks to get here since I am actually really only feeling about"1% ready" now that I think about it.
Is that how every mom feels before she leaps from 1 baby to 2? Or am I just a self fulling prophecy of craziness?
4 comments:
I'm anxiously awaiting hearing the news too and hope you don't have to wait much longer!
My dynamic of adding a second was different due to ages, but it was sort of a kick in the crotch. Mostly because my older was super jealous of the younger, so you may not have that problem. It took a few months, so I think you'll have the 2 kids thing down easy just in time to switch it up to 3.
But you can do it, without a doubt! Just do a lot of emotional eating to get you through and you'll come out on top (that is always my strategy). Its so worth it!
Anxiously awaiting. I sure remember feeling that way -- you're an awesome mom.
I totally remeber the anxious feeling of being "all ready" and then "not ready at ALL". You'll be great, you are both fantastic parents and just keep doing what you can....that's the best any of us can do. We are so excited with you!!!
Ditto to what everyone else has said. Most moms aren't 1/10 as prepared as you are and it will fall into place. You will learn when to 'stand strong' on certain things and when to chill out a bit. This is a time you will grow, grow, grow. Just don't EVER let Satan convince you that you are a failure as a parent or a second-rate mom. He specializes in trying to do that when we are busy, young mothers and I fell into the trap far too many times for far too many years. Just fall down on those tired knees after you fall out of bed and dedicate each day to the Lord and ask for the Spirit to show you what is important for that particular day and how to best spend your time. God loves these little ones even more than we do and He will guide you. You won't be perfect and you surely will make mistakes, but you do the best you can and thank Him at the end of the day.
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