ON THE BRINK

I haven't left the house for a "real reason" in over a week, other than for emergency trips to the store for formula, thermometer, prescriptions, or to the dr's office. My awesome progress that I had made on packing the house has been severely dawdled. I stink. I stink worse than the diaper pale that hasn't been emptied in days. The shirt I've donned continuously for the past 3 days is soiled in tears, spit up, food, snot, and other mysterious body odors.
I'm panicking about the move. How do I say goodbye to the home I've welcomed my two children to? I have so many memories here, the past few days are possibly my least favorite. But none the less, many many memories. My mind is swirling with thoughts, worries, eagerness, frustrations, and more. As much as I don't want to leave the comfort and security of my home, I just want this move to be over with. I want to have the time and energy to be a normal mom again. Go to the zoo, the park, get outside more frequently than every 72 hours. I want to shower, wear regular clothes, and feel like a productive member of society.
In all the years I've managed my depression - I've learned not to live in the state of "I'll be happy when..." however, in this situation - I'll be happy when I sadly say goodbye to this home and settle into our temporary diggs and watch my to do list dwindle to things I want to do, not have to do.
As much as I'd love to say I have my shiz together and I'm superwoman who handles the craziness in my life with total grace and ease... I don't. So because I'm feeling like I'm on the brink of losing my mind with all that's going on... I'll be back in no time and I'll find my sanity soon. Promise! Probably around October 3rd... if I was a guessing woman.