THIRD TRIMESTER MUSINGS

For a few weeks now I've been meaning to post about a certain pet peeve of mine that makes me want to crawl out of my skin and go postal every once and a while. This is the post that motivated me to stand up on my soap box instead of quietly getting my undies in a twisty.  ***So if you don't want to hear my blunt utterance on the subject of pregnancy being totally awesome... then turn away now and come back tomorrow. ****

I agree with Persimmon in that I feel like I'm letting people down in some way when I respond to the "how are you feeling" question with a positive comment on how great I feel and how much I enjoy being pregnant. I'm returned with confused looks and skepticism that I could actually be telling the truth. Or their rebuttal is one of, "Oh, well! You just wait! It's going to get miserable any day now!" The problem with that statement is, people have been saying that for the past 26 weeks. I was told how miserable my life would be when morning sickness hit, or when the baby starts kicking me in the ribs, or when I get into a committed relationship with the bathroom because I'm in there two thousand times a day.

But here's my point. It's all in the attitude. I've kind of had it up to my eyeballs with the bad attitudes and complaints. I don't understand when or for what purpose women decided to ban together to complain about a certain choice circumstance that they freely decided to put their bodies through. Now I DO understand that every pregnancy is different and that for some women, the toll it takes on their body is much more significant than others. I've watched two friends suffer with HG during their pregnancy and not be able to eat more than a slice of toast with two sips of juice for the entirety of the nine months. They endured weekly IV treatments at the hospital for anti nausea medications or end up at home eating from a tube in their nose. THESE women are the ones who I give full freedom to complain about the hardship that pregnancy brought on them. However, these are also two women who I know appreciated the blessing for what it is and were more than willing to suffer and sacrifice for 9 months to bring a human being into this world.

The point of pregnancy, believe it or not, is not to look like a superstar in maternity skinny jeans. It is not to feel beautiful and glowing every moment of the day. It is not to display the cutest baby bump on the block, or to find time between your trips to Hawaii and Mexico to have a baby on your own schedule. Creating life inside you and carrying it every moment of every day for forty weeks is a matter of great sacrifice. It's the first sacrifice we can make for the child. Isn't that what motherhood is about? Yes our "sisters" ache in stabbing pain for the first few weeks, yes we have full visitation rights to the porcelian crown, yes we have to stay within a 10 foot proximity to the bathroom for fear of piddling in our pants, yes it's impossible to sleep comfortably, yes we feel totally morbidly uncomfortable in our expanding bodies, yes the baby sometimes gets lodged between our ribs. But these are all daily reminders of the insanely unmeasurable miracle that is happening. Forty weeks we signed up for in order to meet a little person that has been created just for us.

So I just don't understand comments like, "Oh I'd kill myself if I were pregnant right now." How about you do us all a favor and keep those miserable attitudes to yourself. If you don't like being pregnant, don't get pregnant, save me the heartache of listening to your complaints. Maybe it's only because I had to fight tooth and nail for the chance to ever dream of experiencing this. Maybe it's because I've had to watch two other women sacrifice their bodies to bear a child for me. Maybe it's because I'm off my rocker.... but I freaking love being pregnant. If I could, I would be in this state of physical blessing every day for the rest of my life. Feeling a baby kick inside me is inspiring and surreal. Getting up to use the bathroom seventeen times a night is a reminder to look at my sleeping babies and thank God for their safety in their cribs each night. Feeling disgustingly fat and unattractive in my body makes me stop and appreciate my body for what it's doing for me. I didn't even ask it to and it doubled the amount of blood volume it can carry, it built a brain inside my child one neuron at a time, this baby's heart is beating without even being asked. My body is a work of humble art, it is doing the only thing it knows how to when pregnant. And it's a body that was told "No, you'll never be good enough to do that so stop trying." And it flipped it a giant bird and replied with, "you just watch me." And I am grateful every single day that my body didn't give up. It's fighting for this baby everyday and so am I.

So like Persimmon so sweetly pointed out, "Stop acting like pregnancy is an illness." It's a blessing. One that we each begged for when we "started trying" to get two pink lines on the ept stick. Enjoy the season in your life. It's forty short short weeks. I'm almost thirty weeks and I'm sad to see the last ten roll up on me so quickly. I don't want this to be over, I'm proud of my bigger than life baby bump. So next time you're tempted to speak ill of the "circumstance of pregnancy" remember that there are those who are willing to sacrifice everything to be in your shoes. And remember that it's a choice. We can't order a hamburger at a restaurant and then complain that we got a bun with beef, tomatoes, lettuce, ketchup, mustard, and pickles on it. We get what we ask for. And I've been asking for this for a LOOONG time.... and it was worth the wait. Oh so worth it. And I will definitely be putting in another order someday.

You can sit around and pout about it... or

you can dive in full force and enjoy the splash that you've created.

Enjoy the ride. The journey is often just as exciting as the destination. You just have to chose to open your eyes to the possibilities the journey has to offer.