It's happened. Three days before my "estimated due date." My breaking point. My body and mind have been pushed beyond it's limits in a whole new way and I'm not handling it so well anymore. If I could go back to 30 weeks pregnant, I would, and I would stay there forever. But at 39.75 weeks, I'm not coping so well.
I won't list the things that make my day hard because I'm not complaining. I'm just stating the fact that I don't think it's very natural for a 9 1/2 month pregnant person to also be caring for and toting around an oversized 4.5 month old. It takes an extra hard toll on my body... and my sleep deprived mind. My body is giving way and it hurts like it has never hurt before. And my mind... well it's been lost for a few days now. Ask Kday, I cry. A lot. Over stupid things like my brother poking me in the arm.
But before I get to down in the dumps about my physical limitations and my emotional instability, I should mention that I'm also very aware that my body and mind are about to experience the greatest joy it's ever experienced before. I know that my heart will swell with happiness and immediate love when I see my baby. (Aside from the nightmares I keep having that my due date was off and now that I'm going over my due date, the baby is going to really come out as a 1 month old) I'm trying not to wish the next few days away and despite not being able to move my head more than 10 degrees to either side because my neck and back locked up today... I'm trying to look at the whole picture. So I'll keep waddling foreword until I reach the finish line. And remind myself that it's all worth it and in a matter of hours or days I'll miss being pregnant. Something I waited 7 years for. I'll wait another 7 if it means I get to do it all over again. Even this really hard part.
3 comments:
~ hugs!! ~ ♥
and now the wait is over!! :) CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how ironic you writing this just before he came. he must have been listening. i love it. you did it! can't wait to see you!!!!
You can do it! I can't imagine your stamina right about now- with the car seat and the toddler and the belly. I wish you the most luck ever getting through the next few days, and with your delivery! I'm probably the last person you'd seek help from, but if you need any, just let me know!
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