... ON BECOMING A ROCKSTAR

I never used to rock my babies to sleep. I had read too many books and heard too many horror stories about how ruined my life would be if my newborns became dependent on being rocked to sleep. I would rock Layla and sing to her in my awfully tone deaf voice but only when she was awake and I was very adamant that she learned to fall asleep in bed, alone. 

I began to soften my sleep strategies with Rider and although I followed the same fundamental ideas of a routine and sleep schedule... I relaxed a little. I no longer feared that if I rocked my son once and awhile, he would become a dependent screaming sleepless child. I learned that if a baby gets off routine for a few days, not to panic, the pendulum will always swing back and they will get back on schedule within a few days at home. 

And then came Ohwee. He's a mama's boy and just like his dad at a young age, he needs a cuddle and a rock-a-bye routine at night. And I'm perfectly OK with that. While rocking him to sleep a few nights ago I realized I only have about 2 more months with this baby until he'll be too big and won't want to be rocked. He'll be pushing off my lap and wanting to crawl away in a matter of weeks. 

Yes I miss the comments after I'd put one of my children down and our guests would say "Wow, that's so nice that you can just lay them down and they go to sleep." I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment when I'd hear those stand in awe of my sleep training skills. But "NICE" for who? "Nice" for me? What? So I can selfishly spend more time with my friends or hurry and get back to my primetime television show? "Nice" that my babies don't need me to comfort themselves? I had things so twisted around... "NICE" is when you spend the time to watch your wee one's eyes slowly grow heavy and they sweetly flash you one last small smile before finally closing their eyes and drifting off. "Nice" is patting your baby's bum and rubbing his little body with your loving hands while you snuggle them close to your heart. "Nice" is taking the time to really smell their head and neck and ears and gently stroke their cheek with your lips while you savor the time that they are small enough to fit in your arms. Because when all is said and done and my almost-three year old asks me now to rock her in the chair before bed... now I relish in her angelic face instead of worry that I'm creating a monster. 

When we sign up to be parents, we relinquish our right to have priorities over our children. They are our number one priority, not my evening TV show, not my visitors in my home, not going out on a date with kday... taking the time to enjoy my babies before they are no longer babies, THAT's my priority. So don't call me between 6:30 pm and 8 pm... I'll be busy rocking my babies to sleep. I have official become a "rockstar" and I love it.

This was the day Rider came home to us... I spent all day in the rocking chair with him. Staring at him in awe.