When I first found out about the baby boys, although they're not twins, I was given a single bit of advice from all my friends who've survived twins. "JUST SURVIVE THE FIRST YEAR." I thought to myself, "Ok, I can do that... I can survive a year of anything right?" (knock knock knock on wood :)) And that I did.
We're coming up on Ohwee's first birthday in a matter of weeks and as I reflect on 2012, unfortunately i see a year of too many regrets. It was much more than just survival in many ways, but as for my specific role as a mother... I definitely didn't THRIVE. I changed 600 diapers each month, I potty trained a 3 year old, I hosted bday parties, I moved, I folded a lot of baby laundry, I lugged car seats around, I burped, bounced, cuddled, rocked, bathed, and played a plenty. But I also did it in zombie mode.
How many times did I dress a fresh clean baby each night and enjoy the smell of him? - not enough.
How many times did I wipe up baby spit up? - a lot....
How often did I stop to remember how much i love the smell of baby spit up? - too few.
How many times did I curse baby O for waking in the night instead of just enjoying the moments of quiet with him ?- too many.
You get my drift. My babies are big babies now and I have very few memories of what the last 365 days held. I refuse to let the next 365 days pass aimlessly, only to look back and wonder where my year went. I plan to see each day vividly - with purpose and a present state of mind. I want to remember each day for what it has to offer, good or bad. Sometimes the days will be worth a few tears in the bucket of "Yikes today was a rough one." But at least I'll be present in the "yikes" moments instead of just passively surviving it without any recall the next day of what happened.
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