I AM MOM

I'm a "new mom" technically speaking.

Only been at this job for 3 years.

So it's safe to say although I'm off to a good start... there's A LOT of room for improvement.

As with any new job.

*****

My dearest babes have been struck down with illness this week.

This week, still recovering from last week - in which I was struck with the same nasty virus.  

I can't say I've relished in every waking moment of needy, tearful, sad little cries... But I can say:

I have experienced some of the great moments of motherhood.

The first time my child cries for me in the night and climbs into my bed, wanting nothing but her mothers comfort when her ear ached.

I am Mom.

The hours of sitting on the couch with my fevering baby, who wants nothing but my cradling arms to hold him.

I am Mom. 

The situation when I am the only person on the planet who knows what my 18 month old wants when he's been crying for an hour.

I am Mom.

The words "I just want to go home" come from my 3 year olds mouth after vomiting at her Grammy's house... and I realize that I've done a good job of providing my baby girl with a comfortable and safe place of refuge for her. The only place she wants to be when she doesn't feel well enough to face the world. 

I am Mom. 

******

I wonder and worry that because of the uniqueness of our situation (two babies so close together and coming at an unexpected time) if people see only my struggles in motherhood. I imagine I don't do a great job of shouting at the rooftops the wonderful times when I sit around and can't believe my blessings. Kday said to me tonight, "It's kind of like the saying: It takes 10 positives to replace 1 negative." It made me sad. I am too good and flaunting the negative, the overwhelming, the stressful. There are days when the negatives out number the positives... and then there are days when I AM MOM is felt in every single second of the beautiful children that surround my feet. I literally can't walk across my kitchen most days without children clinging to my legs and feet and it is magnificent. I never wanted anything more than to be a mom and to show my children how special they are, how loved they are, and how perfect they are - just the way they are. And I hope the world can see beyond the moments of growing into my new job experience and notice how happy I am when I am  to carry the title: Mom.