The idea for this post came to me after our first trip to SG early last month. It goes like this:
Kday and I discussed our plans for the day and I knew kday was itching to get out for a long ride with his buddies. I searched the www for a cool park to hit up with the kids while we waited for kday to return from his cycling adventure. We found this park, just south of SG by Bloomington and it didn't disappoint. However, it was my first time at a large park, solo with the kids. Let me preface this by stating that at this point in the game, I figured I've learned the ropes of how to manage the triple threat kids at a park. WRONG.
We get there, set up the blanket, snacks, get the kids sunblocked and hats on etc. As soon as Rider and Owen tear off in different directions, Layla notifies me that she needs to go potty. So I round up the boys and we all haul the100 yards over to the bathrooms. Owen is still crawling at this point of the trip so I hold him (so gross and I'm not going to let him crawl on the floor of a public bathroom) I stand Rider just inside the door and instruct him "don't touch anything" and I help Layla get her business done. Exit the bathroom, cue all three kids to again disperse in three different directions. And about three minutes later comes the announcement from Layla "I need to poop!" (And if you've ever met my first born - she goes into sheer panic mode when she realizes she needs to poop. I'm talking PaNiC!) Owen is at the top of the playground at this point, Rider is who knows where and Layla is in a poop panic. I tell her to just go by herself and I'll keep an eye on her. Here's where this little harmless trip to the park goes awry.
Keep in mind the bathrooms are about 100 yards from the playground and the play area is really huge and it's hard to even see your kids when they're on the opposite side, I'm alone and there are plenty of other mothers there. Cue the judgmental parents here: Layla starts screaming because her hand is stuck in the too heavy bathroom door and she can't get it out and she's still in a poop panic. Owen is now teetering at the top of the playground and about to fall 6 feet to the bottom of the fire pole drop off. And Rider is rummaging through someone else's diaper bag for food on the south end of the park. This quickly felt like a triage situation. So I run to the screaming child first and hope to heavens that someone will rescue my infant prior to plummeting like a baby bird out of his nest. Cue judgmental mom #1 who also runs to Layla's rescue and with the stank eye announces to me "Her fingers are stuck in the door and that's a really heavy door. It probably broke her fingers." Thank you for stating the obvious. I have no choice but to take Layla to the bathroom while I attempt to hold the door open and keep a visual on my other two children. Rider has now been "shooed away" by judgmental mother #2 and is about to get kicked in the face as he walks directly in front of the kids on the swings while he tries to make his way over to me. (not a single mom who is sitting inches away from him and is watching my struggle - even attempts to help Rider avoid a swift kick to the head) Meanwhile we wrap things up in the bathroom, Layla still screaming, Rider screaming because I won't let him swing and cue judgmental mother #3 who has rescued Owen from the ledge and brings him to me to say "He was about to fall and I couldn't find you anywhere to tell you to watch him closer."
Super.
Three screaming children and NOT a single mom steps in to say "Hey you look like you have your hands full... do you want any help?" At this point it feels like every single eyeball is fixated on my three ring circus of wailing humans and I felt about as big as a maggot. My insecurities are in full swing and I can't help but imagine that everyone is wondering "why on earth would this mom who so clearly doesn't know what she's doing have so many kids so close together. C'mon lady... space your kids out a little cuz you can't barely handle what you've got." At that moment I couldn't get the kids to the car fast enough, the stares continued as I carried (read: dragged by extremities) my crying children to the car and made three more trips back to the park area to round up my blanket, diaper bag, snacks, and other various mess that we'd left behind in the 15 minutes we'd been there.
I decided that a good mom knows when to quit. So I got out the triple stroller, piled the kids in and we walked away. We walked as far away as my legs could take us while pushing those three heavy babies away from the chaos and the judgmental looks. And while we walked... i cried.
To be continued:
5 comments:
I am so sorry this happened to you! I would have offered to help in a heartbeat! I don't understand mothers who obviously think they are better than you and/or believe you can't handle your children yourself therefore you don't deserve their help! This makes me so mad at those mothers for your sake. Us mothers need to stick together in situations like these and not judge other mothers when it looks like they are having a hard day. There have been many times where I've had to redirect too little toddlers away from being hit by other kids in swings, make sure kids don't fall off the play set, push kids on swings while their mothers takes care of her other child's meltdowns, and the list goes on. I know that I was more judgmental of people's parenting skills before I had mine but I still tried to help other kids out and now that I have a child of my own and have had those hard days myself there is no way I could turn a blind eye to a mother in need. I am so sorry!
How sad that no one would help you! I have been there to some degree with the twins and Kaylee. I think I could count on one hand how many times a stranger has offered to help me....even just to open the door for me!
I am so sorry your excursion to the park was such a disaster :(
UGh! I have had that happen to me more times than I want to count!! Incredible how rude and insensitive people can be. It amazes me.
How about the time we were in a trashy diner in Bryce Canyon and a cranky old man screamed at my kids to "Just SHUT UP!" And then scolded us that we needed to have better control on our kids.
-Our kids were talking with their cousins, no one was crying, no one was screaming they were talking. So Jack told him politely and quietly to never talk to his kids like that again, and they could talk outside. the old man then said that he would get his "Glock".
I know this is a long comment but what amazes me is that there were people at the restraunt who were on the grumpy old mans side.
Awesome world we live in right? Your amazing Shannon and the best Mom ever. I hate those moments! HATE THEM! Whats horrible that situation has made me paranoid everywhere we go so my poor kids don't get yelled at again.
Frustrating experience. I must say, I have been one of those people on occasions who watches a child come near to getting hurt at a park, etc. because the parents are nowhere to be seen, and I sat there, judging the parents. Hopefully next time I will simply walk over and make sure the child is safe.
Wow. I read your later post about the angels and then this one ... what a contrast and reminder to just help and cheer each other on this life. You. are. awesome!!
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