ADOPTION - PANDORA'S BOX Part 1

2 points to take into consideration while reading this post: 
1. I like to think I'm in a position to be an advocate for adoption. I enjoy sharing the proper adoption etiquette lingo as well as hoping I can leave a positive impression on people who are new to adoption. I also love to speak positively about our children's birth parents and sing their praises for their strength and Christ like love.

2. I don't believe in dishonesty, it goes against my moral and religious beliefs and I don't want my kids to think it's OK to lie in situations when it's just plain easier than the truth.

That being said, let me tell you about my lunch date with Kday at REI today.
We meandered into the ski boot section well knowing the exact boot we wanted to walk out with today. I had already tried the boots on a month ago and we've  been saving our money and our 3 years worth of dividend to be able to afford them. I decided to try the boots on one more time before making the big purchase because I have commitment issues with spending large amounts of cash. Aaaannnnnyway, our kids were with us and the sales woman questions, in reference to the boys,  "Twins?"I get this question a lot and here's my constant dilemma - Tell the truth or lie and simply say yes twins? I've been known to lie once in awhile and it's for a variety of reasons:
A: It avoids a million awkward follow up questions with complete strangers about my fertility and/or the adoption process and judgment toward the birth parents.
B:  Sometimes I've just got to make a quick escape to the car before one of the kids poops their pants or melts down or chucks something and I just don't have 25 minutes to spend discussing my lack of ovulation - again, with complete strangers!
C: If I can tell that the person is already judging me in a negative light... then we have nothing to discuss. Some people are haters, they act like I walked into a hospital and stole a baby. And nothing I say will ever change their mind.
D: I don't want to hear the age old wives tale about "Oh, see... you just needed to relax!"C'mon people, relaxing doesn't fix non-functioning internal organs!!!!

But overall I don't like to lie because I've also had some really beautiful moments shared with complete strangers who tell me all about their adoption, or their grandkids who were adopted, or about the time they placed their baby and how happy they are to see how much I love my kids. With the truth I've been able to help people change their old-fashioned beliefs about adoption. The truth has it's own way of spreading the spirit of adoption and I don't want to stifle that. I can't however always feel the situation out before deciding with which answer I go with. Do I share our beautiful story? Or do I lie to  simplify the situation and get done what I'm there to get done?

Today I answered truthfully, "No they're not twins." (sometimes I can get away with just that) and she followed up with "how close in age are they!?"  With my honest answer I had un-knowingly just opened Pandora's box....

To Be Continued....................