MUDDLED LESSONS

Photo courtesy of: Kday, Cotton Sox photography, and Endurance 360

Man yesterday was a doooooozy. Have you ever had a day when you feel like your children people are slinging mud at you? Non. Stop? That was exactly how my day felt, and on one or two occasions snowy dirt mud was actually being flung at me. It was a moment in motherhood opposite of those sweet "M.A.M.A moments." It was in fact so far opposite, that it felt like an entirely different career path I had awoken to. The decibel level of whining toddlers pierced through my soul like a flechette and I lost all composure. Numerous. times. And by ALL composure... I mean - ALL composure. I screamed, I cried, I wailed, I stomped around the house... I basically reverted to acting like my small children. Nice job mom. I finally hit the floor on my knees after the kids were nestled for naps. I asked my Heavenly Father why I was so bad at a job I so desperately want to be great at. I poured out my desires unto my God and begged him to help me see more clearly what I was doing wrong and how to fix it. 

Then I picked myself up and salvaged what little bit of daylight was left.

Layla awoke and begged to play in the snow. She suited up and I watched through the kitchen window as she trampled around the yard and stomped through the fresh foot of powder on the deck. She was making a snow angel while I washed a mountain of dirty sippy cups and my answer came. My spirit whispered, you want to be a better mom? Then go outside and play with her. I ignored it and kept scrubbing away. It knocked on my heart again and said again (in a bit of an annoyed that I didn't listen the first time tone), you want to be a better mom? Go outside and play with her. 

I set the one of two thousand sippy cups down and followed my instructions. We played and laughed. We worked together to shovel clear the trampoline and then headed over to the neighbors driveway that  was still fresh with untouched Utah powder. I told her to sit down and help me plow the driveway by putting her legs out like a "V". Then I scooped her up with the shovel and slid her across the driveway. My own personal snow plow. She loved it and she even said, "Mom this is so much fun aaaaand we are doing service for the neighbors!" 

So much was learned yesterday. I need to stop requiring so much of my small children and remember that they learn through play, not through restrictions and constant discipline or lectures. Parenting is a hard job and its a REALLY hard job the more kids you have. I'm learning that not all 2 year olds are created equal and my expectations for each of them needs to vary a little. And I learned that I need to ask for more help from my Heavenly Father who knows my children better than I do, and who knows my desire for competency. 

The rest of the night was spent on the floor working out boyish wars over sharing hot wheels cars among other things. I spent time trying to teach through play instead of through run-on sentences of rules and expectations. Cars were still thrown, brothers were still pushed by one another, and they cried as much in the evening as they did in the morning... But I was more patient and willing to sacrifice my wants for their needs. And when the muddiness of the day cleared, life looked pretty good again with a fresh dusting of snow sent by God.