50 BUCKS WORTH

Let me just tell you why I haven't posted all that I said I would.... 

CUZ POTTY TRAINING SUCKS.

Diapers are worth every single penny.

If I was smart - I would have continued to spend my $50 a month on diapers in order to save my sanity.

But the damage is done now... 

No turning back. 

We both cried numerous times today.

I'm sure my mother questioned my mental stability.

She spent the majority of the day on the potty.

And I spent the majority of the day begging her to make a "tinkle tinkle" sound in the potty.

Yet she somehow never once peed IN the potty - No - Not once

She peed through 12 pairs of underpants and 1 pull up.

She peed everywhere in the house- including next to the toilet - twice.

And the day ended with an epic tantrum where she was finally sent to bed in a pull up.

If you're smart.... take my advice and keep your kid in diapers until the very last minute possible of their life.

It's much more simple and convenient for all persons involved.

See you tomorrow...

Hopefully.

If I survive.

SURVIVING THE TERRIBLE TWOS - PART II

Skipping the performance

I had a huge epiphany while talking to Kday about all of Layla's tantrums last week... I've been demanding 100% compliance and perfect performance from her all the time. Without meaning to, I was expecting her to be on her best behavior because my parents were around. They weren't expecting a perfect two year old... but I was worried about disturbing them. Unbeknownst to me, I was totally unrealistic in my expectations of her and I was mis-diagnosing her inability to be the perfect stepford child 24-7 as "poor behavior." When really she was doing great 90% of the time... I just needed to open my eyes to how well she was doing considering her age and her situation. 

So I realized my mistake was that I was unintentionally putting way to much pressure on the both of us and to chill out because my parents of all people understand that she and I are not going to be perfect all of the time. I could tell immediately that Layla felt a sense of relief when she realized I was letting about 50% of things go that I had previously been hounding her on.  Ahh, life is easier when we don't expect perfection.

U.R.?.U.R

The next point worth mentioning is that K.C reminded me that there are two points of view when looking at our two year olds. "She's two years old!" can be interpreted in polar opposing ways. The way I was viewing it was - "She's TWO!" She should know how to act by now! When in reality, I need to remember that, "She's two," means she has only had a short time to learn a lot of lessons. I need to give her a break and remember her young, innocent age. I've also realized that techniques that worked with Layla a few months ago... or even a few weeks ago - aren't necessarily going to work now. She's ever changing and I need to change my system to fit her needs. Two months ago, in church, she never thought twice about disobeying me when I asked her to sit still on the bench and play reverently. This month... she realized she has the power to not do as I ask. She figured out that she has a lot more options that just the one I gave her. Or at least - she THINKS she has more options! My job is to persuade her into realizing that she gets more rewards and life is happier when she choses to listen as opposed to disobeying. But I have to step back and remember that each day is a new one, she's growing older and her needs change almost as fast as Rider's diapers need changing. I need to remind myself to stop and observe her, listen to what she is telling me when she's screaming in the carseat or when she refuses to eat all of a sudden. She's talking to me in a whole secret language and it's my job as a mom to listen by growing with her and changing my reactions to fit her actions. 

Day'ly Plan

Oh the plan... I haven't been sticking to the part that says I'm supposed to by up at 6 am to exercise, but overall we've been sticking to the rest of it. It's not set in stone, it's not written in blood... it's just an outline for the day to give us an idea of what and when things need to get done. Breakfast doesn't always start at 8 am and last until 8:25 am.... but it helps me to have a goal of when to be up and ready. Bed time routine doesn't always happen perfectly with bath rotations beginning at 7:30 pm and ending happily with songs and a story - but we try to get the kids to bed before 8:30pm. And having the daily routine typed up and printed mostly was just a way for my brain to figure out all the mumbo-jumbo list of "needs to do" and organize them into a timeline of "hopes to accomplish in a timely manner" list. The plan is not something to set limits on things. No. The plan is just so I have a starting point to my day and it's working beautifully. Layla was struggling to get a nap in during the chaos of our days lately and it was taking a toll on her. I was letting her sometimes go all the way until 4:30 pm before getting her some down time... big mistake. So now, we still allow for flexibility - just not so much that her life feels out of sorts. The start of naptime falls somewhere between 12:30 and 2:30 now and that's plenty of flexability while still allowing parameters that help her know that there is security and predictability in her life. One thing I learned EARLY on with Layla is that SHE thrives on predictability and routine. Otherwise she falls apart not knowing what comes next.  So the plan is posted and Kevin is included on it... we don't always stick to it but hence the name, it's a plan.
And I like it.

I-O-U

I OWE YOU so many rocking awesome posts. I have a prioritized list actually. And you'll get every single last post. All within the next 24 hours... because I gotta get them off my back and onto the blog-roll so I can relax already!!!

Right now though I gotta take a nap. Haven't slept in 3 days.
Go to target and buy big girl undies for Layla because we start potty training in less than 24 hours.
Feed Rider.
And then come back home and blog like I've never done before.

Get excited yo! It's November and life is good.

IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE-

The pitiful truth is that Layla's learned her "witching spells" lately from her mom... the queen witch these days. I'm a hormonal, third trimester wreck. I've cried at least twice a day for the past week. But about an hour after the salt dries from my tear soaked face.... I feel fine. The good news? I'm sleeping much better! Mr Monkey decided that all the sleep training we've been doing has finally paid off by sleeping 8.5 hours at night without needing a bottle! Yes! Second point of fabulous news, my nightly bathroom trip count has drastically decreased this week also! So I am now able to get about 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time during the night and that has me in wonderful spirits in the AM. The mood swings however, those I'm still working on. In fact, they may even be half the culprit of Layla's "naughtiness." But the plan is coming along beautifully.
I know I owe you some posts on the rest of our plan. They'll be rolling in throughout the weekend. But for now, I'm off to finish sewing my halloween costume. It will match Buca's of course. Here's little preview!

Isn't Kday just the handsomest dang thing you've ever seen? Gosh I can't get enough of him!

MAKING SOME MORE CHANGES

Changing the Cackle

As I reviewed what was and wasn't working in my life with Layla, I realized that some of the things I'm saying to her are making me sounds like a broken record. And we all know that a broken record gets tuned out after long enough. My telling Layla "Come here please right now," or "It's time to be a good listener," were all falling on deaf ears. Also me asking her five million times a day to stop whining and start using a "big girl" voice, it was pointless. So I decided that changing my approach, words, and the way I say things might help her get out of the rut I've stuck us in. 

So there will be a few more "gentle" approaches like after noticing she's forgetting to use a big girl voice more often than I'd like... pick her up and give her a hug while whispering "Mom really likes it when you talk to me with a happy voice, OK" 

Or simply switching up the "key phrase"- like swapping out "It's time to be a good listener" with "Mommy needs you to listen to her." 

The tone and volume of my voice is something I'm really needing to focus on as well. If you've ever met me, you know I'm LOUD, BOSSY, and I talk really FAST and IN EXCESS. So I'm trying to tone it down... like when a teacher in a class room suddenly starts whispering to get everyone's attention. 

Cross your fingers and lets hope it works. Yesterday wasn't as successful as our first day on the new plan. 

But we did have an absolute blast at the neighborhood trunk or treat. Pics coming soon! 

Today I go in for my 28 week appointment on baby Nixon. Wow. And did I mention I think I have a stress fracture in my foot? Nice.

BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE A PLAN

It's a little annoying right? I know it is. This idea that I always have to have a plan or else I feel totally lost in my life. Anyway, what a difference 24 hours makes, and what a difference having a plan makes!

Reset Button

This idea came to fruition after talking to K.C about how rotten I've felt for being at odds with Layla 24-7 for the past few days. I was getting after Layla for every single nit picky thing and she was ending up in time out a bazillion times a day and it wasn't really helping either of our cases. So we decided that over the next 2-3 days we needed to reset the system by only using time outs for really mega issues, not the simple things. The energy between us needs to be cleared so she can understand that I'm not going to harp on her every move. I needed to remember that time out isn't for things like refusing to say please when asking for chocolate milk... it's for things like slapping mom or poking baby brudda in the eyeball after being asked not to touch him.  Layla only had 1 time out today and it was a doozy, but she totally changed her attitude afterward - which is the whole purpose of T.O right?! She had to spend a little extra time strapped in her car seat after running away from me in the Wa11mart parking lot and she had put us all in a dangerous position. So it was warrented. But after a few minutes of screaming in the car by herself, she came around and the remainder of the day was totally awesome. 

Layla's face when she knows she's busted and she starts pleading her case! Paweese mom!

this is Buca's classic "NOOOOOO!" face

So today was great. We got up, fed, dressed, hair done, room cleaned, grocery shopped, nap time, snack time, went for a walk, played in the yard, made dinner, played in her room, took a bath, jammies on, and teeth brushed without a single argument or tantrum. (other than the 15 min. Wal1mart fiasco) We had fun, we laughed, played together, walked 8 blocks, and snuggled tonight = success. Step one of the plan is working. Yes!

Tomorrow: Changing the Cackle....

THE WITCHING SEASON

I've accidentally created two witches around these parts lately. I'm not talking the cute halloween versions that Layla and I will be on the night of trick or treating. The witching hours here have been overextended and I'm ready to make a change. After many, many tears shed by both Layla and me over the past week, I've had time to try to figure out what the problem is. Poor girl has had her world rocked in so many ways. We both have really... and I mega suck at change. Everything in my daily life has changed lately and it's left me feeling more witchy that I'd like. Seriously, Layla has spent the majority of her life here at the "rents" in time out and it's unpleasant for all of us, and it breaks my heart that she's struggling so much.

So after some self reflection and a lot of loooooong conversations with kday, miss mary, and KC - I've come up with a 5 part plan to getting our life back on track and getting my dearest Buca a lesser sentence in the time out chair.

1. Reset Button

2. Change the cackle

3. Skipping the performance 

4. UR?UR

5. "Day"ly plan

Tomorrow I'll break down the plan and it's 5 points in detail. Aren't you so excited? I am. And I think my little mini witch will be too when her life gets a lot more positive tomorrow.

 Ah, all this thinking, crying, and worrying has me exhausted. Good night.