What's up with my absence in this wonderful space I've created here? You got me! I just haven't had the energy or the mental capacity to write about anything worth writing about. And in about 3 weeks you'll all find out why. But until then, I'm determined to sit here and force my finger tips to chatter away at the keyboard of this new computer until something pops into my grey matter.
Baby brudda's birth mother is 30 weeks along now and I'm starting to realize the magnitude of the next 10 weeks. Not just the superficial "nesting" anymore, but the total knee weakening reality of the idea of being a mother of 2 children in a matter of weeks. A newborn.
When we were preparing for Layla it was a matter of impossible to grasp the idea of a newborn or being a mother. It was all about the excitement of a new life and the dream of becoming a mother. Now, I'm a mother all day. And it's been almost 2 years since I've handled a newborn and it's kinda freakin me out all over again! Sleep training, feeding, diapering, swaddling, soothing... etc. It all feels so foreign! And as a cherry on top I'm having a hard time imagining it because I don't even know if this little parcel of newness will arrive before or after we move into a new home. So the day dreams of where I'll set up nursery and change all those millions of diapers a day... it's all unknown as of now. I've been so caught up in all the other changes in our life that I'm forgetting that a little man is about to enter my life in a few weeks. Am I ready? I felt sooooo ready for Layla. How is it that for number two I feel totally unprepared?
4 comments:
Ready or not ... but you are so ready and such an amazing mom. Time is flying - it seems like just the other day I was hearing this exciting news as we were running along the road.
It's like riding a bike, it all comes back quickly and naturally. Best thing is, you will be more relaxed and kicked back, going with the flow.
ahhh 30 weeks! and now she is what...31 or 32 weeks along? i am at 30 weeks and holy freak, get this baby out of me!! not that i'm ready for her, but that i cannot even fathom 10 more weeks of pregnancy. i can't wait to find out why you haven't been blogging so much lately. it's seriously making my brain hurt :) love you shan. next time i come to utah (dec) we will definitely hang out and maybe our children will still remember each other from the pre-mortal existence. i bet they will. duh.
oh and sorry i just updated my blog. finally. with 5 or 6 posts. haha i am so bad. teach me your ways.
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