TWO-FERS

RIDER
(if you've ever wanted to know where his name originated... click over to kday's post)

My sweet boy is a real boy today. Two always kind of seems to mark the end of anything "baby" around our house. Well, that's a lie, cuz I don't even think about potty training and binky weening until 3. But still, big fat two is suddenly seeming all grown up - and as sad as I feel about it, I love the little boy that is emerging. I've literally watched this quiet litte introvert begin to manifest the inner workings of his little mind. Oooooh he's a lover - despite that he says "NO!" to just about every. single. thing. that is said to him. But I will say this, and if you know my Rider-roo.... you'll understand - BIRD! FISH!

This boy is such equal parts loud and quiet all at the same time. It's impossible to explain but if you know him, you get it. 

Shy as shy can be. He'll flash that killer dimple of his and then hide his dark sultry eyes as soon as you think you've made progress. And all he'll give you is a half glance out of the very most corner of his eye, head ducked to see if you've given up yet and left him alone. 

Books, books and more books. Rider will sit and read a book so quietly for an hour that I sometimes forget where he is. 

He's as thoughtful as boys come. If Rider gets hold of a binki, his brother is going to have one too - and Rider will march right over to Owen and slide his extra binki into Owen's mouth no matter where or what Owen is busy doing. Then he walks off like "ya bro, your welcome for that." Not a word is ever exchanged. 

He sleeps and sleeps and sleeps. 

And just in the last two weeks he's discovered the joy of playing with his older sister. 

He's excitement stutter is starting to shorten from "ah ah ah ah bird!" to "ha bug, ha bird, ha dad." I kinda hope he doesn't let go of this cute little mannerism for "ha while." 

Mom! Ha Bug!

Most of all, he's my easy boy.... unless Owen get's ahold of him and then they suddendly become a dynamic duo that has no limits. Rider is usually the quiet plotter behind the trouble and Owen is the one willing to be on the front line's taking the risk - like escaping through the dog door and barreling through the house is his cousin's dolly stroller at mach speed. 

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET SWEET BOY.

Rider lost his last surviving GREAT grandpa this week.
He will be missed, as Grandpa ralph had so much to share with my little boys.

RIDER'S BIRTHDAY- Part 2

5:35 am Kday and I in an attempt to get out of the way slide up to corner of the room at the head of the bed. Kday was uber impressed with the "transformer-esque" of the hospital bed into the delivery stirrups. (Men... we're about to welcome our son into the world and he's preoccupied by the mechanics of the L&D bed!) He had all intentions of leaving the room during delivery but we were trapped! There was no way out of the room and too many people rushing about and setting up for delivery. So I watched out of the corner of my eye as Kday slumped down into a chair and prepared himself for the unimaginable. (Keep in mind, he usually passes out at the sight of an IV) I stood there feeling helpless as I watched BM struggle in pain with nothing for relief because she was too far into the labor. Only a quick hour since our arrival and I was staring at a nurse who was yelling at me telling me to grab BM's leg and help her push. What do you want me to do!? But as I looked at BM she was too far gone in pain to listen to the nurses instructions to grab her own legs and push. So I did what came natural... I grabbed her leg and watched her face as she pushed and breathed through the contraction. A quick peek at Kday but all I could see was a ghostly white resemblance of my husband. He was about to go, but I was a little busy and couldn't do much to offer him support.

5:42 am After 2 short pushes and a few issues with the umbilical cord... our son was born. I couldn't believe how much I loved him the instant I saw his little blue gooey face. Nothing else in the room mattered as I listened to his scream and ached to be the only one there to have him all to myself. He was perfect, perfectly alive and my love for Layla was not divided... but rather it was multiplied to encompass the both of them.

And then my attention naturally turned to BM as I watched the pain in her face turn to fear as they handed her a baby that she would never get to raise and care for. She looked scared and confused and I understood completely. How is she supposed to feel about this little miracle that I love so much and I get to be sealed to for eternity?

5:55 am The chaos in the room winds down as baby is now perfectly fine and labor is completed. BM's expression still remains one of hesitation but deep down I know she was just as in love with this little man as I was. She just wasn't able to show it as blatantly as Kday and I were. I couldn't peel my eyes off the baby, my heart swelled with almost an aching love. I was so filled with joy, yet standing right next to someone who was so filled with sadness in order to allow my joy. What are we supposed to do next?

RIDER'S BIRTH DAY - Part 1

If you have the time to read this post, I suggest you get comfy, put on your glasses and pull out the tissue box. Here is Rider's birth story:

(for simplification matters... BM is Riders' Birth Mom... ha ha, very funny - I'm well aware what BM stands for in the medical field but just get over it ok cuz it will make this story a lot easier to type.)  :)

3:45 am after weeks of sleeping with my phone in hand, showering every day, and ensuring that the house was spotless... we got THE CALL. Of course it was the second day I'd gone without a shower and the house wasn't spotless. Laundry was piled, dishes dirty and most of all I was doing it all on purpose to tempt fate. And it worked. Ha! The minute I heard the phone ring I knew it was BM - Kday and I both jumped up as I answered it. A calm, collected "Good Morning" were her exact words. I said, "Are you OK? Are you in labor?" She told me she had just arrived at the hospital and when I asked her how she got there her answer was interrupted by a contraction that took her breath away. "Never mind... We're on our way... see you soon."

Wow, I couldn't believe it was finally here. I took the worlds fastest shower while Kday called his mom to come stay the night with Buca. Thank goodness I had set aside the outfits we planned to wear because I'm sure clothing shenanigans at 4am wouldn't have gone over well with Kday.

4:15 am Dressed, hair done and bags waiting by the door we nervously drove away in the dark of the night knowing that the next time we got in our car we will have met our son for the first time. Kday and I nervously conversed about what to expect. I'm certain I haven't had butterflies in my stomach so acutely since walking into the hospital to meet Layla.

4:45 am I nervously fidget with the nu-nu softy I had just purchased two days earlier to give to the baby, as we waited for the security guard to check our names on the admittance list in the ER. He asks who we are and how we're related to the patient..... in unison Kday and I look at each other and say "We're the adoptive parents." Walking up to the L&D room felt like a million miles long as if we were moving in slow motion. Suite 4. It wasn't 7 or 9 but it would do for now :)

It was a little awkward to say the least as Kday and I nervously sat down in the corner and tried to stay out of the way and not say the wrong things. BM was already in the zone and naturally breathing through the contractions, so conversation was mostly whispers between Kday and I. Really, not much was said between any of us. I don't think any of us knew what to say in those moments, and the quiet sound of baby boy's heart beat was the perfect calming background noise.

5:20 am A cup of ice chips later and BM asked the nurse for an epidural. The nurse said "Sure, let me just check you real quick so I can notify anesthesia." Two seconds later the nurse regretfully said, "sweetheart, I'm sorry but you're not going to have time for an epidural... Please DON"T PUSH!" And she ran out of the room shouting through the halls for the MD be notified and for nursery to get to Suite 4 stat.

5:30 am Kday gave BM a blessing as the chaos and pain were increasing too rapidly to handle and she needed Kday's strong priesthood presence to calm the mood. A blessing that was interrupted by a Dr waltzing in with untied shoelaces and muffed up hair. Clearly just awoken and hurried to the hospital he checked BM and said, "Ya two pushes and this little baby will be here."

TO BE CONTINUED.....

30 WEEKS, AND THEN SOME

What's up with my absence in this wonderful space I've created here? You got me! I just haven't had the energy or the mental capacity to write about anything worth writing about. And in about 3 weeks you'll all find out why. But until then, I'm determined to sit here and force my finger tips to chatter away at the keyboard of this new computer until something pops into my grey matter.

Baby brudda's birth mother is 30 weeks along now and I'm starting to realize the magnitude of the next 10 weeks. Not just the superficial "nesting" anymore, but the total knee weakening reality of the idea of being a mother of 2 children in a matter of weeks. A newborn.
When we were preparing for Layla it was a matter of impossible to grasp the idea of a newborn or being a mother. It was all about the excitement of a new life and the dream of becoming a mother. Now, I'm  a mother all day. And it's been almost 2 years since I've handled a newborn and it's kinda freakin me out all over again! Sleep training, feeding, diapering, swaddling, soothing... etc. It all feels so foreign! And as a cherry on top I'm having a hard time imagining it because I don't even know if this little parcel of newness will arrive before or after we move into a new home. So the day dreams of where I'll set up nursery and change all those millions of diapers a day... it's all unknown as of now. I've been so caught up in all the other changes in our life that I'm forgetting that a little man is about to enter my life in a few weeks. Am I ready? I felt sooooo ready for Layla. How is it that for number two I feel totally unprepared?