RIDER'S BIRTHDAY- Part 2

5:35 am Kday and I in an attempt to get out of the way slide up to corner of the room at the head of the bed. Kday was uber impressed with the "transformer-esque" of the hospital bed into the delivery stirrups. (Men... we're about to welcome our son into the world and he's preoccupied by the mechanics of the L&D bed!) He had all intentions of leaving the room during delivery but we were trapped! There was no way out of the room and too many people rushing about and setting up for delivery. So I watched out of the corner of my eye as Kday slumped down into a chair and prepared himself for the unimaginable. (Keep in mind, he usually passes out at the sight of an IV) I stood there feeling helpless as I watched BM struggle in pain with nothing for relief because she was too far into the labor. Only a quick hour since our arrival and I was staring at a nurse who was yelling at me telling me to grab BM's leg and help her push. What do you want me to do!? But as I looked at BM she was too far gone in pain to listen to the nurses instructions to grab her own legs and push. So I did what came natural... I grabbed her leg and watched her face as she pushed and breathed through the contraction. A quick peek at Kday but all I could see was a ghostly white resemblance of my husband. He was about to go, but I was a little busy and couldn't do much to offer him support.

5:42 am After 2 short pushes and a few issues with the umbilical cord... our son was born. I couldn't believe how much I loved him the instant I saw his little blue gooey face. Nothing else in the room mattered as I listened to his scream and ached to be the only one there to have him all to myself. He was perfect, perfectly alive and my love for Layla was not divided... but rather it was multiplied to encompass the both of them.

And then my attention naturally turned to BM as I watched the pain in her face turn to fear as they handed her a baby that she would never get to raise and care for. She looked scared and confused and I understood completely. How is she supposed to feel about this little miracle that I love so much and I get to be sealed to for eternity?

5:55 am The chaos in the room winds down as baby is now perfectly fine and labor is completed. BM's expression still remains one of hesitation but deep down I know she was just as in love with this little man as I was. She just wasn't able to show it as blatantly as Kday and I were. I couldn't peel my eyes off the baby, my heart swelled with almost an aching love. I was so filled with joy, yet standing right next to someone who was so filled with sadness in order to allow my joy. What are we supposed to do next?