A FULL KIND OF EMPTY

Maybe it's my pregnancy hormones, maybe my inner nostalgia but walking away from our first home was harder than I had anticipated. I was eager to clean, de-junk, simplify, and box up all my belongings and find a place to start fresh. But in the middle of all the cardboard towers labeled as fragile, I stopped to remember all the moments that each room carried within it's walls.

I remember our first night in our humble home. I had buyers remorse as I worried that I would never feel like the white plaster walls would provide me the comfort I needed. The house was as empty on that first night as it was on our last. Empty of things but those walls are full of memories now. I remembered our housewarming party when my ovarian cyst ruptured and I begged Kday to call an ambulance as I was passed out on the bathroom floor. I remember the loss of my first pregnancy. I remember sitting on our $99 futon watching a cool new show called "The 0ffice" with Kday while he finished his degree at Weber. Bringing our daughter home to her empty little nursery and relishing in motherhood. Endless snuggly movie nights with Kday. A lot of laughter and a lot of greatness, some tears and even more change. I found an Sday while living in that home that I always knew existed but never believed I could achieve.

Some of the hardest and most beautiful memories I own were created there and I'll miss it. In the interim of old and new, it's been nice to enjoy a few amenities that our temporary diggs have to offer. Such as an automatic ice machine. You don't appreciate the small stuff until you go to drink your diet c0ke and the ice cubes in the tray are practically evaporated from sitting in the freezer for 6 months and they faintly taste like the freezer food. DVR is awesome, I've caught up with the Kardash1ans way more than I ever knew I cared to be, loving all the baby stories on TLC, and I'm hooked on Dance M0ms. It's only added to my sleep deprivation, unfortunately.

So we're settling in and keeping our eye out for the perfect place to welcome our third child home to as well as continue on my findings of sday. My future is rapidly changing and I'm trying to resist the instinct to be afraid of such an unknown and accept the excitement that this journey has to offer. It's like walking into a new space and knowing that there are a lot of memories that will be written on the walls, but wondering what they'll be.

Goodbye house. Thank you for welcoming home the two most beautiful children I've ever met in my life.