MORNING SICKNESS OF AN UNCONVENTIONAL KIND

What is up with the KA-RAY-ZEE dreams when one is "with child?" A month ago Kday noticed me crying in bed during his morning routine of getting out the door to go to work. He physically had to shake me to get me to wake up and stop crying. I had been dreaming that he was leaving me for a French woman who had approached me to say that he just couldn't handle another "fate phase" with me and he was taking Layla with him. Stupid french lady. Stupid Kday. I was mad at him for the entire day and left with an unshakable feeling of insecurity.

This morning I lay in bed awake for about two hours, just as sick to my stomach as I had been during the first trimester. It was not morning sickness that plagued me, no, it was the crazy dreams again. This time I had two dreams in a row that Kday had an affair while staying late at work and although it had occurred a year ago, he was just barely getting around to tell me about it. He said, "I don't want to talk about it right now," when I confronted him in the dream. But my distorted dream character continued to force the information out of him. I wanted details people. And they weren't pretty and it only made me more and more nauseated.

So I lay in the dark, cold, rainy early dawn and wondered... do I dare ask him in real life? What if the answer is the same as I had dreamt? Twice! So I whispered, "Kev, you awake?" He mumbled that his head hurt and yes, he was indeed awake. Did his head hurt from carrying around this big ginormous secret from me for over a year? "Baby, have you ever had an affair? Or even just kissed anyone else? Please just tell me the truth," I begged. Of course he didn't take me seriously until I began once again to cry. I layed there and cried while I recalled my dreams for him. He put his warm sweet hand that I know so well on mine and he whispered, "You're the only woman I've ever kissed. I promise."
I tried to neglect the emotions that my crazy dream stirred up inside but it was a hopeless effort. He continued to reassure me of his eternal love and I continued to cry because I knew how much I love him and how damaging it would be if I ever lost him. He got mad at me later in the day when I called him to ask again. Ha! I'm such a freakazoid! Like he'd ever do anything like that!!!
Ugh, what's up with that? I can't keep having these insane dreams!

On a super cool note, you know how my horoscope is always true?! Guess how funny it was when I sat down late last night and read my "scope" for the day... It said I'd be at the casino and that luck wouldn't be on my side. It just so happens that I had taken Layla to Boondocks arcade yesterday and our luck wasn't the best. Bo0ndocks arcade is about as close to a casino as you'll get in these parts, so how funny is that? I love me a good horoscope reading :)