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| Those toes of mine are a looooong way down there |
It's time to get back to the basics of this place I call finding sday. Since becoming pregnant and watching the scale tip further and further to the right, I've been avoiding posts about the dueling forces that have been consuming me. I have such polarized feelings about everything that's brewing inside my body. Baby miracles and weight gain. I feel like I'm on a teeter-totter and the upside is feeling elated and loving this journey of pregnancy... the opposing side is total and absolute consumption with fear about returning to the 200 lb range. Part of facing that fear is saying it out loud... yes, I weigh over 200 lbs. way over. And yes, after losing my original weight and dropping below that mark, I swore I'd never again let my weight start with a #2 no matter the circumstances. So it's totally put me in a tail spin of old pain, fear, discomfort, and self loathing. Yet it's coming at the same time that I'm happier than every about the things my body is doing for me. I understand that pregnancy brings weight gain, but I've let my appetite get the best of me and I've done nothing but eat whatever and whenever I want for the past 34 weeks.
One thing that I've been proud of is returning to my yoga practice each week and it has given me the opportunity to hone in on all that's swirling around in my head about this topic. Last night was a great night of yoga, filled with clarity. And here's my 3 part discovery that I'll be posting about this week;
Gratitude
*****
Confidence
*****
Be
*****
More to come tomorrow....
2 comments:
I have the same problem with weight-gain during pregnancy. I absolutely LOVE pregnancy and the miracle it is, but HATE that I have to sit by and watch the scale go up every week.
Hopefully while you chase 3 little ones, the weight will fall off pretty easily.
Its been shocking at times hopping on the doctor's scale for me. I quit weighing myself at home after a while because I found it was adding stress that I didn't need. I haven't eaten perfectly at all this pregnancy and the holidays I typically put on a couple pounds anyway.
But... I've convinced myself that it is going to be OK. And even if I have to work my guts out after this baby to lose this weight, its worth it. I'd rather have a few more pounds and not stress about my weight while pregnant then not.
You are so close to having this little one! Only a few more pounds to gain. ;o)
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